Episode 187

Approaching Life with Grit and Grace: Insights from Erika Rothenberger

Published on: 6th March, 2024

In today’s episode I am joined by the remarkable Erika Rothenberger. Together, we explore resilience, audacity, and the art of time blocking.

In this episode:

  • Surviving and Thriving: Erika shares her journey from a near-fatal attack to becoming a symbol of resilience, proving that adversity can fuel inner strength.
  • The Audacity to Be Yourself: Learn how to cultivate the audacity to embrace your true self, as Erika shares insights on authenticity and self-discovery.
  • Mastering Connections: Erika reveals her top tips for building meaningful relationships, emphasizing the power of genuine connections in both personal and professional spheres.
  • Time Blocking Unveiled: Dive into the world of time blocking with Erika's expertise. Discover how to maximize productivity and prioritize tasks effectively for a balanced, fulfilling life.

Join us as we unravel profound insights and practical strategies for navigating life's challenges with grace and determination. Tune in now.



Drink of the week….Awaiting Grace



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Erika Rothenberger

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Transcript
Speaker:

Approaching life with grit and

also giving ourselves grace is

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a delicate balancing act that

requires a blend of determination.

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And self-compassion.

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Grit involves setting ambitious goals,

persisting through challenges and

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maintaining a relentless work ethic.

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It's about embracing setbacks as

opportunities for growth and continuously

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pushing beyond our comfort zones.

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However.

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It's equally essential to extend

grace to ourselves in the face of

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failures or moments of vulnerability.

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This means, recognizing our

limitations, accepting imperfections and

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understanding that setbacks are natural.

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Part of the human experience.

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Welcome to episode 180 7 of the shit

works, a podcast dedicated to all

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things, networking, relationship

building and business development.

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I'm your host, Julie Brown.

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Speaker author and networking coach.

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And today I am joined by

Erica Rothenberger Erica.

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Seemingly does it all.

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She's a speaker author, professional

time manager, the director of performance

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systems for a large utility contractor,

as well as amazing mom and wife.

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And she's here to share her hard-fought

knowledge on resilience, grit, and grace.

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Life is a wild journey where honestly,

the winds of fortune can swiftly

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change directions, bringing moments of

blissful, ease, or unexpected chaos.

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Sometimes everything seems to align

perfectly and life feels harmonious.

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Other times, however, the proverbial

feces hits the fan and challenges

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arise seemingly out of nowhere.

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Yet.

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It's in these tumultuous

moments that we discover our

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resilience and capacity to adapt.

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My guest today survived a brutal attack.

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That almost took her life.

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And if it's true that what doesn't

kill you makes you stronger than my

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guest today is a heavyweight champ.

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So without further ado, let's

welcome Erica to the podcast.

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Julie: Erica, I'm so excited you're here.

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Erika: I am so excited to be here.

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I have been waiting for this.

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Cause I just, I've been listening

to all of your messages and just

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all of the goodness that you're

throwing out into the universe.

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It truly is like confetti.

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Julie: You know, yours are too.

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You are, I mean, when we met, when I

got that voicemail from you,, for the

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listeners, we were introduced by another

podcast guest, Lindsay McMillian, Steeman.

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When I got that voicemail message

from you, I thought, shit, I have

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now met my sort of energy match.

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Erika: Energizer bunnies.

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You know, it's, it's funny.

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I don't know if you're like me,

but like you get become unplugged

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and it's like people like it.

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Do you have trouble sleeping?

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I'm like, no.

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I'm like, I'm just down for the kill.

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I'm like, then you charge me back

up and it's like, go, go, go.

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Julie: people always ask me, you must

have so much trouble going to bed.

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I'm like, no, it's like somebody

pulled the cord, like literally.

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Erika: take the batteries out.

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Like talk, talk about, you

know, energizer batteries.

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Julie: Yeah.

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All right.

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So let's start with this story,

because I teased this story, this

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story about how you were attacked

and how it was a defining moment for

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you in learning how to tap into your

own grit and grace and resilience.

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And so tell us about this story.

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Erika: Mm.

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You know, thank you for honoring me and

letting me share this story because,

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you know, some people may hear this

story and I, you know, I'll just say

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like, they're going to be a little

bit like taken back or I can't believe

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this happened and I really believe that

there's so much goodness that came out

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of it and I will preface it that way,

but, you know, I'm, you know, just.

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The average Joe, right?

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Like doing, doing the do just like

so many of us on the call, like going

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after things, making things happen.

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And I will tell you, it

was just a normal day.

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It was June 16th, 2022.

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I was, you know, had my kids had

been out of school all of two days.

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My husband was in Kansas.

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city.

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I drove to work the exact

same way I always did.

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I stopped at a starbucks and had

a coffee meeting with someone and

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I pushed back a meeting that was

supposed to start at 10 to 10.

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I started at 10 15,

which was with my boss.

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Let my executive assistant

know, Hey, listen, we're gonna

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push this off 15 minutes.

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So I always think like, you know,

it's kind of like sliding doors.

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If one decision had been different,

if that meeting had gotten

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canceled, if I just decided to

keep it at 10 o'clock versus 10 15.

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And we can always play that what

if game in life, but I think it's

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important to go back and unpack it

that way because it's played through my

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head so many times since it happened.

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So, , I go to this coffee meeting, I

pull into my parking lot, the same place

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that I'd worked for over a decade, right?

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I go and drink the rest of my hot

lemon water, gather some of my things.

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And for any of us that,

Like to travel non light.

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You know, I had my lunch, I had my

bag, I had my computer, I had this

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and my, all of the things right?

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And as I was sitting there,

I went and checked my phone.

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'cause I pulled in approximately

at like 10 o'clock that morning

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and went to go check my emails

before I even walked in the office.

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What other type of chaos had happened?

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But, before I did, I actually left a

video for my kids that morning, because

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I knew they were going to the movies and

I knew they were with a new babysitter.

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They hadn't started camp and just

reminding them to have such a

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beautiful, amazing, wonderful day.

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Have so much fun and

how much mom loved them.

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And again, I truly believe that we're,

we do certain things in life, at certain

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moments because We just don't know.

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And it just reminds me of the

things that we need to do.

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So I pull in, I'm drinking my water,

and the next thing I know I go to

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open my door and I go lean over to

grab my things in my passenger seat.

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As I turn back over, there he was.

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It's literally a man that I'd

never seen before, like standing

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literally inches away from me

in the opening of my car door.

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And I quickly said, sir, can I help you?

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Thinking he was lost.

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He needed help before help.

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You even came out of my mouth.

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He punched me so violently

into in the nose.

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He grabbed me by the long

tendrils of like my hair.

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threw me to that asphalt pavement.

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He started beating the living

shit out of me and I kicked, I

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screamed, I tried to stop him.

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I felt I did everything

that I knew how to do

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Julie: Broad

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Erika: my, all my power, all

my adrenaline and nothing.

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It was like I was a rag doll to him.

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Like I was no longer human.

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And I just remember in that

moment, like not knowing what

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was happening in that moment.

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Like everything happened

so fast and it's crazy.

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Where the adrenaline will go, where

your mind will go and like all of the

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things and that you really, it is pure

adrenaline that is trying to fight, talk

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about fight or flight, fight for every

bit of your existence at that point.

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And I will tell you, like,

I tried every, I used to.

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You know, kickbox.

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I've always been into fitness, health,

well, like all of the things, no

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matter what I was doing, this 290,

510 man, I was not stopping him.

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And unbeknownst to me, he was an ex boxer.

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He knew exactly what he was doing.

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And, um, at which point I got down on the

ground and I started trying to crawl away.

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I could not crawl away and the next

thing I know is I saw the large

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crease of his elbow come underneath

my throat and again, in that

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millisecond, I said to God, I said,

this is my last moment here on earth.

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Like, please take care of my kids.

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Please take care of like my family.

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Please like, just like.

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I, you know, and next thing I

know I was, I was blacked out.

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I was completely, he strangled

me so hard that I blacked out

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and I really, they have no idea.

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There was no security cameras,

unfortunately, on the building.

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There was no, like no

one, no one witnessed it.

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Um, and that has been, you know,

part of the trials and tribulations

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that I'm still dealing with and

at which point, um, I remember.

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So at that point, remember so vividly

then all of a sudden just seeing all

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these bright like lights and colors and

all of these things, like kind of like

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I was going through a really tough time.

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Fast RASP racetrack.

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And they were like coming after me.

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And I remember feeling like, where am I?

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What am I doing?

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But I was able to get on my

feet, like somehow some way

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was able to get on my feet.

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And I just started running.

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I was in heels.

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I started running towards the building.

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I had no idea if he had a knife, if

he was going to attack me, if he had

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a gun, if he was going to chase me.

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But I remember looking over my shoulder

and seeing him in my car and being

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like, I have no idea if he's going to

run me over, what's going to happen.

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But I just ran with all my might.

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And it.

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About halfway through, I kicked off my

heels and I went inside that building and

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I screamed, bloody murder, please, someone

help me, someone help me, someone help me.

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And at which point, people on the second

floor, which was the floor that I was

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working on, they had come like, you

know, running down and um, you know, just

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all of the emotion and the adrenaline.

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Long story short, just he

was not able to start my car.

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He actually got.

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When he saw me run, fled by foot and

took the shirt with my blood stains

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all over it off and started running

and thank God I was able to get up

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as fast as I could because the police

then asked me to give a description.

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They saw this man

running with no shirt on.

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In the time that it took with

that, he had actually gone into

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the this large, uh, grassy area and

started actually burying himself.

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Um, so they had us in the dogs

and then the drones in and they

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found him actually burying himself.

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So anyways, it was a blur, a blur,

but, but even though, although the

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account only took 45 seconds, it

felt like it was almost a lifetime.

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Julie: my God.

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45 seconds.

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Um, did you, you go, did

you go to the hospital?

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Were you like, how?

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Erika: yeah.

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So immediately they rushed me to trauma.

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They like didn't even want me because

normally you'd try to go and like

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at that point they had him detained

like they wanted me to go see him

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and they were like, no, she has so

many things going on, um, that we

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need to get her, right to trauma.

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And they raced me right into trauma.

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And, um, you know, again, the

next 48 hours were really a blur.

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Um, just understanding what just

happened to me, how it happened.

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Yeah.

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Fortunately, my face was not like broken.

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I had no broken bones.

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Like, you know, was more, you know, the,

the mental anguish than the physical.

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I was bruised and I was battered and I

was bloody and all of the things, but that

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those things went away relatively quickly,

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Julie: And the others don't, the

emotional trauma, the PTSD doesn't.

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So how do you, I can only imagine

that now every time you are open

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the door or every time you lean

over, like things come back to you.

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Like how has this helped you

work on Your own level of sort of

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self awareness or resilience or

strength like how I don't think that

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everything happens for a reason.

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I'm not one of those people who thinks

that everything happens for a reason or

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that there's always good in everything.

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But if there is good, I

want to try to find it.

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Erika: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And that's what I really had at one pact

and I appreciate you asking that question.

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So like that, when I remember about two

or three days later, I was sitting in my

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backyard, it was a warm summer evening.

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And I just remember being in a hooded

sweatshirt, just feeling like I

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just wanted anything I could to wrap

myself up and feel enveloped or safe.

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And I just remember sitting there

listening to some music and just You

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know, tears just flowing down my face.

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And at that very moment, I made

a decision to with myself, like,

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what was I going to do with this?

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How was I going to like, let this, because

at that moment I was like, I don't know

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if I can matriculate back into society.

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I don't know if I'm

going to ever feel safe.

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Can I ever drive that car again?

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Can I, all of the can

should have would have.

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And I said, listen, I need

to take this and be a light.

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I need to take this and

turn this into something.

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And it was almost like.

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It overcame me like I don't think I

even logically I was still, you know,

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going through the stress and the trauma

and like everything as I am still.

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Days like today, like, but I will say

that it was in that pivotal moment.

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Like I'll never forget that exact moment.

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What sweatshirt I had on what I was

thinking and just being like, I need to

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take this and turn this into something

powerful, um, because it's going to be

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a big part of my healing and a big part

of my therapy has been talking about it.

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Making myself more self aware, bringing

up things to males and females about

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like, Hey, listen, when don't use an

ATM on a street that you don't know,

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or with someone's not protecting you,

don't go into a hotel gym at 4 45 in

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the morning like I do, by yourself

in the back of the, you know, sketchy

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hotel, like just think about what you're

doing and just becoming so much more

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situationally aware in, in situations.

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Julie: I mean, nothing like this has

ever happened to me, but I just think

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as a woman who is on the road by

herself all of the time, I have become

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more situationally aware just because

of how alone I am in places where I

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don't know, the landscape and I don't

know, I don't have friends there.

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Like, I, I feel like I've.

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I feel like it's sad that we have to do

that, but I am very much aware of who's

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behind me in a hotel, in, in the corridor.

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If somebody gets in the elevator that I

don't feel comfortable with, like you say,

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I always go to the gym in the morning.

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Like, are there more than one, is

there more than one person in the gym?

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Like, I'm, I feel like it's so sad that

we have to do that, but it, it will, and

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it can and will save your life if you

do think about those things in advance.

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Erika: 100%.

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And I think again, that's where

I was able to say, listen, I

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can keep this story inside.

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And because I shared it, I can't

tell you the outpouring that I got

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from the community, not only my

local community, but in a grandiose,

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cause it went, you know what I mean?

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A lot of people ended up hearing about

it and just saying, listen, like this

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story, if it just changes one person's

life, if it makes one more person

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more aware of what they're doing.

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And I can't say that I was.

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unaware that day.

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I felt like I'm usually a

pretty aware, astute person.

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At that moment, I was in my safe place and

they always say, right, where the things

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are going to happen when you feel most

comfortable, when you are most complacent,

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when you're doing something that you've

done for so long and it's like any part

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of our life, whether it's business,

whether it's in a relationship, right?

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Like we all get to that point where

we're like, we're comfortable, right?

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And we stop acting as our best.

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We stop showing up as our best.

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We stop being, you know,

astute to those areas.

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Um, and so I have found so many golden

nuggets that have come out of this.

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Because I've been able to share, because

it's made me more aware, because I've

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shared it with my own kids who are

seven and 10 years old, who need to be

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aware we're living in a world that's

very different than when you and I

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were seven and 10, it's just reality.

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Julie: Yeah.

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I love what you just said about it.

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We do become complacent or we do

become unaware of our surroundings

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and a lot of the things that we do.

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And especially in business, I

think, we go through the motions,

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we do the work, instead of saying,

how could things be different?

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How could I be more aware of

the things that around me and

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building relationships or whatever?

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And you have a keynote.

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So.

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That is called the, let me

see if I get this right.

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It is called the audacity to be you.

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And I want to know what that keynote

is about, because , I think a lot of

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people need to figure out how to be.

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audacious in, within themselves, and

bring all of themselves, all of the

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pretty parts and all of the not so

pretty parts and the bent parts and

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the squishy parts into their existence.

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And so how do you teach people to do that?

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Erika: Hmm.

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I love this question.

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And audacity is like my thing, right?

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Like how to be bold, how to be brave,

how to break away from like, what's

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the normal mold or what you're supposed

to do or how you're supposed to feel.

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And, really, this has

taught me so much of that.

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So my TEDx was on the audacity to

be resilient, but I do talk about

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the audacity to also be you, you in.

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any circumstance, whether it, like you

said, to show up in business, how we

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doing things a little different, right?

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So many of us want to follow the

straight and narrow, but like, does the

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straight and narrow get us to our goals?

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Does the straight and

narrow push the envelope?

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Does the straight and narrow

get us the next keynote?

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Does it get us the next sales deal?

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Does it get us the next

business opportunity?

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Does it get us the next

relationship, right?

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Like And I always say you're

not going to be for everyone and

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you shouldn't be for everyone.

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But when you truly act as your authentic

self and you're pushing those boundaries

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to be yourself, those people will,

you'll, you'll get rid of the people

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that you shouldn't be attracting.

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And you're going to magnetize to the

people that you should have in your life.

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And all of a sudden doors

and opportunities will open.

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And I wish I had taken this lesson for

myself when I was in my twenties, right?

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I tried to fit into that mold.

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Like, well, I have to have the

certain color jeans and the certain

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this and wear this and do this.

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And like, I look back now and I'm

like, what the, what was I thinking?

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Right?

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Like, you know, like just like when we

show up as our true self and that's what

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that keynote really unpacks, like how

we can show up on our true self, but how

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it helps us in so many aspects of our

life, not just our own personal brand,

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but so many aspects of our life and how

then it makes other people feel like

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they can show up as their true self.

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Julie: it's so true.

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And I want a couple of things that

you've mentioned just in what you said

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when you said when I was in my twenties,

I thought I had to do it like this.

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I had to look like this.

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I had to wear this.

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I had to talk like this.

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And I think a lot of that is because of

our corporate cultures that try to define

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what professionalism is, how to define

what you're supposed to look like in

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the office and sound like in the office.

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Based on really antiquated

ways of doing business.

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And so I think the onus, if you want

to get the, the audacity out of your

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employees and get them to really grow

is to build a culture in which it is not

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scary to be audacious and where you're

not, you aren't sort of, um, you know,

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criminalized for being different in

the office, I, I think our companies

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have a long way to go before we.

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We stopped sort of dampening

the fire within people.

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Like I, when I think about about, I

was 39 when I started my business and

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I think about how many horrible 360

reviews I had in my corporate world when

357

:

I lived in the corporate world, because

I was very loud and different and.

358

:

Um, too much and all of that,

and I didn't feel welcomed and

359

:

comfortable in a corporate setting.

360

:

But now that I own my own company, I

can finally be who I am, but maybe I

361

:

wouldn't have started my company if I

had found a home in which Julie Brown

362

:

could have been Julie Brown in all of, in

all of what it means to be Julie Brown.

363

:

Erika: Right.

364

:

And I think what you're unpacking

is so important because I think

365

:

so many times what we're doing

is we're stifling innovation.

366

:

We're stifling change.

367

:

And when we don't change, we die.

368

:

Like, look at Blockbuster.

369

:

Look at Radio Shack.

370

:

Like, look at the companies that

decided not to change because they

371

:

weren't audacious enough to say, How

can we go outside of the envelope?

372

:

Right?

373

:

We're just going to keep doing

like the same things the same way.

374

:

Well, that doesn't get people anywhere.

375

:

We have to inspire, promote,

encourage that inspiration.

376

:

And to me, when you allow people to

show up as their best, most audacious,

377

:

most Vulnerable self, the things that

will come through because there's

378

:

so many people that have ideas that

don't even make it to the meeting.

379

:

They don't make it to the boardroom.

380

:

They don't make it to the agenda

because they're afraid of what

381

:

everyone else is going to say.

382

:

And we're hiring people

for their intellect, right?

383

:

At the end of the day, I like to hire

people who think and I like to hire

384

:

people who think differently than me

because if everyone thinks the same

385

:

way, like we're going to have a lot

of loud, obnoxious, you know, um,

386

:

People like, you know what I mean?

387

:

Like, I want people to think differently.

388

:

I want people to look at it differently.

389

:

Right.

390

:

And I want people like you and I who

are outspoken and , I think we need

391

:

to be able to make it a safer space.

392

:

Julie: One hundred percent.

393

:

If there are people in your meetings who

don't talk, your job is to say to that

394

:

person, what are you thinking about this?

395

:

Because they have thoughts.

396

:

They just don't feel

comfortable saying them.

397

:

And we are missing out on a

tremendous amount of problem solving.

398

:

And You know, there was a study done

a number of years ago with business

399

:

owners who were facing problems,,

within their companies, they broke

400

:

up this study group into two groups.

401

:

One group could only go to the people that

they talked to all of the time to help

402

:

with problem solving and to get through

this situation within their corporation.

403

:

And the other.

404

:

Study part of the study group could

only reach out to people they hadn't

405

:

talked to in more than three years So

hadn't had any contact in more than

406

:

three years at the end of the study.

407

:

They showed that the best Problem

solving came from the people

408

:

who reached out to people.

409

:

They hadn't talked to in a long time

Which is why we need to open up like

410

:

the the best Ideas are going to come

probably from the least expected places

411

:

Erika: Yes.

412

:

And you know, Julie, you

bring up a really good point.

413

:

Like I think about, so again, in my

twenties, I'm in a civil engineer with

414

:

my MBA and I was like, oh, I got to

network with engineers and I got to

415

:

network with people in construction.

416

:

I need to network with architects, right?

417

:

Like I'm going to stay in my

swim lane because those are the

418

:

people I should be connected with.

419

:

Well, let me tell you, when I

started networking with other

420

:

people who had similar Yeah.

421

:

roles than me, but completely different

healthcare, legal, business, like whatever

422

:

it was, I learned so much that I was able

to bring back because they were doing

423

:

things that were innovative, but so many

of these things can be transferable, but

424

:

when you open up that gate and you're

like, Oh, that tech company, they're like

425

:

20 years in front of the construction

company, probably more, right?

426

:

Like, what are they doing?

427

:

And so I think, especially when

it comes to networking and I'm a.

428

:

Big, big, big fan of like networking

and meaningful connections and all that

429

:

sort of stuff is opening those bridges.

430

:

Don't go with the same people.

431

:

Don't go to the same, you know,

events that you always go, go to

432

:

the different ones that are going

to make you think differently,

433

:

that are going to inspire you.

434

:

Just like to your point before the

people that you haven't talked to

435

:

in three years, if you keep going to

the same ones, you're going to hear

436

:

the same message over and over again.

437

:

Julie: Yeah.

438

:

So there was a study out of the University

of Chicago Booth School of Business, which

439

:

is talked about a little bit what we're

covering here, which is when it comes to

440

:

relevant performance in your industry.

441

:

So compensation, achievements,

industry recognition.

442

:

You would think that sort of having

a closed network where sort of you're

443

:

networking within your industry and

you're doing all of your time in your

444

:

industry and you're getting really

well known in your industry, that

445

:

that would lead to greater success.

446

:

But this study actually showed

that the more diverse your network

447

:

is, which they called clusters.

448

:

So you network in your

industry, but you also network.

449

:

At your gym, and maybe you network in

your church, and maybe you network with

450

:

your other hobbies, and maybe you network

with a peer group, and an alumni group.

451

:

The people who had the most diverse

sort of seemingly disparate, networks

452

:

were the ones who had the greatest level

of success, and they said there was no

453

:

other factor in the study that, that

proved success as much as having this

454

:

sort of blossomed, clustered network.

455

:

Erika: Yeah.

456

:

And think about all the subjects we're

talking about, like just everything

457

:

with like within the DE& I space, right?

458

:

Like when we make people feel like

they can share more and be more

459

:

inclusive and just be themselves and

show up with their, their true self.

460

:

Julie: Yeah.

461

:

Erika: The, the expansion is

to your point, astronomical.

462

:

Right, like we can't we have to be

willing to put ourselves out there and

463

:

be around people that aren't just like

us are going to agree with our opinion.

464

:

I love going to some of these

networking groups and people.

465

:

Disagree with maybe an initiative.

466

:

I'm working on.

467

:

I'm like, tell me more.

468

:

And then they'll get bring up a point

that like no one at my boardroom

469

:

or maybe no one in like my meetings

have ever been talking about.

470

:

And I'm like, Oh, that's

a different perspective.

471

:

I've never looked at it that way.

472

:

Right.

473

:

But being willing to

shift your brain power.

474

:

Um, a little bit differently.

475

:

And sometimes it's right.

476

:

And sometimes it's wrong.

477

:

And I'm not saying that you always

want to be challenged, but it's

478

:

really good to be challenged.

479

:

Like how many of us go to

our reviews every year?

480

:

Right.

481

:

And it's the same.

482

:

Good job.

483

:

You're doing well, keep going, you're

in line for that print next promotion.

484

:

I'm like, give me that constructive

feedback of how I can build, put

485

:

the mirror in front of me to help me.

486

:

really push the envelope and become

better and sharpen my pencil be more

487

:

bold, you know, to do, to do those things.

488

:

Julie: I think this conversation

lends well into just asking about

489

:

another one of your keynotes because

I mentioned in the intro that I

490

:

mean, speaker, author, professional,

mom, wife, like all of the things.

491

:

And people always ask me, well, how do

you have enough time to do what you do?

492

:

And so you have this great keynote on

time blocking, and I would like you

493

:

to just talk a little bit about what

that is and maybe a couple of tips so

494

:

people can start potentially using it

in their day to day lives so that they

495

:

can fit more awesomeness, more audacity,

more resilience into their schedules.

496

:

Erika: Yeah, I love this subject.

497

:

I love it, love it, love it.

498

:

Cause people, I do, I wear a lot

of different hats and I do a lot of

499

:

different things and I have a lot

of people that come up to me and

500

:

they're like, how do you do it all?

501

:

And you look like you're really,

you're actually really having fun.

502

:

And like, you're like, you're able to

balance it and still go on like fun date

503

:

nights with your husband and still be at

your kids games and work a corporate job.

504

:

And like, I'm like, listen.

505

:

there's like really like three things

is one defend your time, right?

506

:

And when I say that I mean selfishly find

your time every day to defend your own

507

:

time Against the outside world whether

that's your yoga class whether that's

508

:

going for your massage whether that's

going for a walk whether that's getting

509

:

up an hour earlier, going to bed an hour

late because you want to read that book.

510

:

Whatever that is that fuels you, right?

511

:

Because we're, we're energy

drained all day long.

512

:

How are we fueling our love tank?

513

:

How are we fueling ourselves?

514

:

And if you're not defending that time

every day, some of us that may be 15

515

:

minutes, some of us may need three

hours of that, whatever that is.

516

:

I'm not telling you what that should

be, but I'm saying, listen, you have to

517

:

start there because if we're not starting

there, the rest of the day will, the

518

:

other 23 hours will unravel themselves.

519

:

Um, the second one is.

520

:

Saying no.

521

:

Saying no to the things that

don't serve you, that don't align

522

:

with you, that don't make sense.

523

:

And it's so hard, especially the

female listeners on this call, and

524

:

I'm not trying to make this, we love

to say, yes, we love to show up.

525

:

We love to be there for

everything and everyone.

526

:

And we have the fomo, right?

527

:

If we miss something, but saying

no to certain things that just.

528

:

don't make sense or don't

align with our mission.

529

:

And if you're not sure of what your why

or what your mission is, maybe you have

530

:

to go back and kind of extract that.

531

:

We're in a new year.

532

:

Did you take the time to

really do some evaluation?

533

:

What worked in 2023?

534

:

Where do I want to go in 2024?

535

:

And does this align?

536

:

If that's one of your, if you say

you have five major goals, right?

537

:

Does this align with the

goal that I'm going towards?

538

:

And if it doesn't don't do it.

539

:

And I even mean simple things.

540

:

I don't like baking

brownies for the bake sale.

541

:

Guess what?

542

:

Julie: I buy

543

:

Erika: plenty of really good bakers out

there that do it much better than me.

544

:

And I may pay triple of what the

boxed Betty, Betty Crocker is.

545

:

I'm okay with that.

546

:

Right?

547

:

I don't like cleaning my house.

548

:

I have a cleaning late.

549

:

Like, so I'm not saying listen,

like find the things that you can

550

:

say no to, or if you can't afford

it right now, barter for it.

551

:

Can you provide them a service

that they provide you a service

552

:

that doesn't bring you joy?

553

:

And then the last thing is really one

of the things is, is I color code my

554

:

calendar and I look at my calendar.

555

:

every Sunday.

556

:

And I look at what my week looks like.

557

:

Most weeks, it looks like Tetris.

558

:

And I'm being honest.

559

:

It is not pretty.

560

:

If I show most people my calendar,

they probably, I put it in my story.

561

:

Sometimes people are like, what?

562

:

That is like a Rubik's cube.

563

:

And I said, yeah, it is.

564

:

I said, but everything has its

spot and everything has a color.

565

:

So my family has a color.

566

:

My work appointments have a color.

567

:

And what I try to do is use that really

we're mentally stimulated by color, right?

568

:

We're We go back to being kids.

569

:

Is, is there too much of

one color in that week?

570

:

And is the only thing you

can take off your calendar?

571

:

Can you move it to another week?

572

:

Right?

573

:

And if you find out that, hey, listen,

that week, so say your self care color

574

:

is yellow and there's like two yellows

on the entire week and red is work and

575

:

it's covering 80 percent of the calendar.

576

:

Is there something that

you need to tweak or twist?

577

:

Like maybe you can't twist it for that

week, but what can you start to do to

578

:

start to do that process and evaluate?

579

:

So, As you start moving forward,

it becomes more of an equilibrium.

580

:

It doesn't have to be a perfect

rainbow, but it should become

581

:

more of an equilibrium to make

sure that you're fueling the

582

:

swim lanes that should be fueled.

583

:

Julie: Yeah.

584

:

At the beginning of COVID, you

know, we were home watching shit

585

:

on TV and masterclass did a free,

event at night where it was a

586

:

question and answer with Dan Brown.

587

:

So Dan Brown wrote the Da Vinci code

angels and demons like, and, and

588

:

he actually lives in New Hampshire,

not too far from where I'm, I

589

:

live now in Massachusetts, but.

590

:

He was talking about how he does all of

the research and creates the narratives

591

:

and does red herrings and comes, how is

he going to make this all come together?

592

:

And he said, I have this thing

called protecting the process.

593

:

And it means that for what he has

to get done for writing that book

594

:

is every day, he doesn't let things

interfere with the process of writing.

595

:

So when he time blocked.

596

:

He's writing time, which he said he

basically gets up and starts writing.

597

:

He gets up at like 5 30 and writes

for like four hours straight.

598

:

Nothing can interfere with that

because if, if something interferes,

599

:

it messes up his process and then

it takes a lot longer to do that.

600

:

So if we looked at our lives, I

always have, I've thought of it since

601

:

this, like what, what is my process

for keeping me at the energy level

602

:

that I need to be at and what do I

have to do to protect that process?

603

:

And a lot of it is doing, yes, good

things for myself, but it's also

604

:

avoiding self sabotaging behaviors.

605

:

And what would make me doing things

at night that would make me tired

606

:

that I wouldn't be able to wake

up at five o'clock in the morning.

607

:

So like, how can you protect your

own process within your schedule?

608

:

Erika: And I always remind everyone, I

love that, we all have the same 24 hours.

609

:

Every single person.

610

:

Right?

611

:

Some of us need more sleep,

some of us need less sleep.

612

:

Okay, we can fill in all those variables.

613

:

But at the day, what are

you going to do with them?

614

:

Right.

615

:

And to your point, like, where is

the value going to come from and

616

:

really start to do it as weekly,

do a self assessment of that.

617

:

Like, Hey, listen, last

week felt really messy.

618

:

It felt really uncomfortable.

619

:

I wasn't taking care of myself.

620

:

I wasn't sleeping.

621

:

I went out drinking three nights.

622

:

Like it's not working.

623

:

Like what do I need to

adjust for next week?

624

:

Doesn't mean it's broken.

625

:

It just needs to be adjusted.

626

:

Julie: Yeah, I've started doing this

with my speaking travel, like, I get

627

:

home from speaking and I'm so exhausted

from the, from the planes and the Ubers

628

:

and, and the energy it takes to be on

stage and I've come home so exhausted

629

:

from multiple speaking engagements that

I've started to incorporate a spa time.

630

:

And every city that I go to.

631

:

So a lot of speakers go in advance a day

in advance because you can't be guaranteed

632

:

that your flight is going to get there.

633

:

If you try to do a flight the same day,

which means that I can land and I can

634

:

go to a spa and get a massage and then

grab something to eat and go to bed.

635

:

And it has been so helpful for me to be

less exhausted while I'm traveling for

636

:

Erika: And think about it.

637

:

That was one small hour or two hour tweak.

638

:

Right?

639

:

At the end of the day, it's not like

you were like you're moving mountains.

640

:

It's not like you're saying, Hey,

listen, I'm going to a day long resort

641

:

and you know, going down lazy rivers and

everything like you're like, listen, I

642

:

just need and what that does to fuel the

next 24 or 48 hours of your trip, right?

643

:

Julie: It's been a game changer for me.

644

:

Just that moment of which I called

protecting my protecting my energy.

645

:

Like I need that time to relax

and readjust and not going a

646

:

hundred miles an hour from the

second I land at that airport.

647

:

Erika: And what does that do to the

energy that you bring to the stage?

648

:

It's that much better.

649

:

And I also say, listen, put it on the

calendar, including when I say defend

650

:

your time, I mean, it needs to be an

appointment with you and yourself that

651

:

you're putting on the calendar because

at any time it can get gobbled up

652

:

and to, you know, Dan's point before,

start with the things that are tough.

653

:

Like I'm a true morning person

and when I start my day doing

654

:

the tough things, it makes the

rest of the day that much easier.

655

:

Julie: I, yes, you have to tackle

your biggest, well, I suppose it

656

:

depends on if you're a morning person.

657

:

If you're not a morning person, you

would have to tackle it at night.

658

:

But for the majority of people who are

morning people, like put your toughest

659

:

stuff in the morning when you have

the most energy, when you're ready to

660

:

go, when you're refreshed, it's really

going to help the rest of your day.

661

:

Erika: Right.

662

:

But I, and again, to your point,

and you know, I appreciate

663

:

you, you, uh, bringing that up.

664

:

It's like, we're not all morning people.

665

:

Whenever that defense, defense

time needs to be, when is your

666

:

energy at its finest, right?

667

:

When is your pencil the sharpest?

668

:

And when it is.

669

:

Do it then.

670

:

Like, I know me between 3 and 5 p.

671

:

m., like, I've been up since 3.

672

:

45, like, my energy starts to drain,

I know when my low moments are,

673

:

and I try to schedule things during

that time that may be different

674

:

than what I'm gonna do at 5 a.

675

:

m.

676

:

in the morning.

677

:

Julie: That is an, exercise in sort

of self observation to understand.

678

:

And I think it would take the listeners

a couple of days, maybe weeks to figure

679

:

out, okay, when do I have the most energy?

680

:

When I am, when am I the most creative?

681

:

When do I actually have a

food coma after eating lunch?

682

:

Like, like writing down those

things to understand when

683

:

you'd be the most productive.

684

:

So,

685

:

Erika: Yeah.

686

:

And again, it doesn't take a

long time, but if you really

687

:

start just like anything, right?

688

:

Like, just like if you start watching

the scale more, if you start watching,

689

:

counting your macros, like whatever

it is, you got to monitor it and

690

:

you got to be willing to adjust

and, um, just spend some time.

691

:

If you're on this podcast listening

right now and saying, I never

692

:

feel like I have enough time.

693

:

My life feels so chaotic.

694

:

It feels so unorganized.

695

:

It feels so out of schedule.

696

:

This is a great.

697

:

Hey, listen, I'm going to make an

adjustment there and it doesn't take a

698

:

lot of time, but it does take the right

time and you got to invest the time into

699

:

figuring out what's going to work and

what's not going to work and really it

700

:

has to go back to fueling yourself first.

701

:

Julie: Yeah.

702

:

You have to want to make the change.

703

:

Yeah.

704

:

Well, Erica, we've covered a lot.

705

:

We have covered a lot today in a very

short amount of time in 36 minutes.

706

:

I'm so glad that you were here.

707

:

I'm so glad Lindsay connected us.

708

:

And I'm so glad I'm going to meet you in

person for the first time in New Orleans

709

:

this summer at the was energizing women,

710

:

Erika: Energetic Women Conference.

711

:

Yes.

712

:

Julie: women, women's conference.

713

:

Yes.

714

:

Erika: Yes, I cannot wait.

715

:

And you are just such an inspiration.

716

:

I'm just, I'm so thrilled.

717

:

Your podcast is shit works.

718

:

It's just amazing what you're

doing, the mountains you're moving.

719

:

Um, just want to commend you and

just thank you for honoring me and

720

:

allowing me to share my story today.

721

:

And hopefully, uh, you know,

create a little bit of time

722

:

management for some folks.

723

:

Julie: Yeah.

724

:

Great.

725

:

All right.

726

:

Thank you.

727

:

Erika: Bye bye.

728

:

Well, what a chat that was, we dove into

the realms of a near death experience.

729

:

Resilience audacity and the art of

safeguarding, our precious time.

730

:

This easily could have been split into

three episodes, but we nailed it in one.

731

:

Go.

732

:

Key lessons.

733

:

Well, Stay self-aware keep

that guard up in both life and

734

:

business because you never know

what's lurking around the corner.

735

:

Also time-blocking was a gym.

736

:

Especially color coding that calendar

for a visual map of your priorities

737

:

and defend your time fiercely.

738

:

Adjustments are crucial when

the time balance goes haywire

739

:

and that color-coded calendar.

740

:

It can help us look at

it like really quickly.

741

:

Okay.

742

:

We're out of whack here.

743

:

Uh, there was so much food for

thought and I'm so grateful

744

:

to have Erica in my network.

745

:

Now, as an energetic force,

I can tap into any time.

746

:

And I'm so glad that I'm going

to meet her for the first

747

:

time in June, in new Orleans,

748

:

Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen.

749

:

Be sure to subscribe to the

podcast so you never miss a tip.

750

:

And remember, you can unapologetically

be who you authentically are

751

:

and still be wildly successful.

752

:

That's a fact.

753

:

See you next week on This Shit Works.

754

:

at that energetic women's conference.

755

:

Okay onto the drink of the week,

which look, I'm not a graceful person.

756

:

My Nana always said I was

like a bull in a China shop.

757

:

So my cocktail for this

week is awaiting grace.

758

:

I think I'm going to be waiting

a long time before I get there.

759

:

Here's what you're going to need.

760

:

One ounce of Quantro two

ounces of vanilla vodka.

761

:

A splash of apple juice, one teaspoon,

sugar, and five Bazell leaves.

762

:

What you're going to do.

763

:

Is going to take the Bazell leaves

and the sugar and muddle it in

764

:

the bottom of a highball glass.

765

:

Then you're going to add a lime wedge

before pouring in the spirits, the Quatro.

766

:

And the vanilla vodka and

then add ice on top of it.

767

:

And then you're going to

top it with apple juice.

768

:

And then stir it and serve it,

just like that in the glass.

769

:

All right, friends.

770

:

That's all for this week.

771

:

If you like what you heard

today, please leave a review

772

:

and subscribe to the podcast.

773

:

Also, please remember to share the podcast

to help it reach a larger audience.

774

:

If you want more, Julie

Brown, you can find my book.

775

:

This shit works on Amazon

or Barnes and noble.

776

:

You can find me on

LinkedIn, actually brown BD.

777

:

Just let me know where you

found me when you reach out.

778

:

I am Julie Brown underscore BD

on the Instagram, or you can just

779

:

pop on over to my website, Julie

Brown, bd.com until next week.

780

:

Cheers.

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About the Podcast

This Shit Works
The people you meet can 100% Change Your Life! Networking is how you meet those people. Which sucks because you hate networking, you think you're bad at networking, and you certainly don’t have time to network. Bullshit! Welcome to This Shit Works, a weekly podcast hosted by entrepreneur, CEO, public speaker, author, business development strategist and networking coach Julie Brown. Just don’t call her Downtown Julie Brown - she doesn’t like that.

Each week Julie will bring to you her no nonsense tips, tricks and conversations around networking your way to more friends, more adventures and way more success!
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