How to Express and Show Sympathy

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Collective tree Ophelia is the belief that certain

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events occur in threes.

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One of the widest held beliefs passed down from generation to generation,

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is that death comes in threes.

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Overall, this might just be superstition.

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But for me in 2021.

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It was a reality.

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The span of three and a half months.

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My father-in-law my Nana.

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And Chris's on all passed away.

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Welcome to episode 76 of this shit works.

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I'm your host, Julie Brown.

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And today I am discussing.

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How we can show sympathy to the people in our network when they experience loss.

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This episode is sponsored by Nickerson a full service branding,

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marketing PR and communications agency with team members in Boston.

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Visit them at Nickerson C O S.

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Dot com.

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Death brings to the surface, a number of emotions, anger, sadness.

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Guilt anxiety.

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And that's just the beginning of it.

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There is no right way to grieve.

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I know that, and each person has to move through their grief in their own way.

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But even though there is no right or correct way to process death.

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There can be a right way to be there for the people in your life and

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in your network who are trying to navigate the loss of a loved one.

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The first thing we usually say to someone who has suffered loss is let

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me know if there's anything I can do.

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It's a great sentiment, but it's almost completely useless.

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Because more often than not, that person has absolutely no idea what they need.

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They're still in shock.

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And numbed by their grief.

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Losing someone is a life-changing experience.

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That person now lives in a world that is forever changed by the

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absence of their loved one.

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And because of this.

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Boards can seem inadequate and we never know what to say or do.

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The following are some ways to express your care and concern and

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also be of help to your friend who is experiencing loss and might not

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know how to answer that question.

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Is there anything I can do?

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One.

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Look for an immediate need and fill it.

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Can you help with transportation watching their kids or their dogs,

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communicating with other family and friends to let them know what has happened

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or simply running errands for them.

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Too.

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Preparing food.

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When Chris's dad died, there was so much to do in the days immediately after

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we were planning his services meeting with lawyers, setting up the estate.

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And we ran what seemed like a hundred errands a day.

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With all the running around, we literally forgot to eat.

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We would ask each other throughout the day.

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Hey, have you, have you eaten today?

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And the answer was usually no.

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So, if you can provide food already prepared meals, that is a huge help,

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bigger than you could ever even imagine.

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Also, we had friends send us gift cards to local restaurants.

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It just made it easier to get the food delivered to our house, to

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make sure that we were eating.

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Three.

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Send flowers or cards, send them to the funeral home or send them to their

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house, but send them, we loved all the flowers that people sent and it made us

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feel that the people who couldn't attend the service or somehow still with us.

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And the cards offered us such amazing thoughts and sentiments.

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For.

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Hug them.

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Sometimes we don't even know how bad we need a hug until someone gives us one.

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The stress of grief can make our hold our bodies in such rigid

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postures and curl in on ourselves.

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Hugging someone helps us release that physical stress.

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Five.

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Share contacts and referrals.

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There is so much that has to happen after someone dies.

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Uh, give them referrals to services.

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They might need a florist and a state attorney, a grief

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counselor, a housekeeper.

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There's so many things that you can help with.

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Six.

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Ask them, if they want to talk.

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Just listening and letting them share their feelings can

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help them process their grief.

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And seven.

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Check back in after a while.

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And the first days after a death, the other person is usually

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surrounded by family and friends, helping them get through that time.

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But as time goes on and there are fewer, and fewer people around that

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is when it can be really tough.

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So make sure to check back in with them to see how they're doing.

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Consistently.

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Loss is never easy.

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Whether that loss was a weighted and expected or completely sudden.

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Your words and your actions can be a tremendous help to people in your

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life who are dealing with loss.

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The sorrow we feel when we lose a loved one is the price we have

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to pay to have had them in our lives and to have loved them.

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And it's universal.

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We will all experience it at some point in our lives.

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Is a popular tradition to raise a glass, to remember the dead.

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An Ireland, one of the most popular drinks used to accomplish this as whiskey.

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Is a tradition at Irish wakes to have a drink and memory of

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the departed with whiskey often mused as part of the tradition.

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And Mexico where the day of the dead is celebrated.

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Each November, tequila or mezcal is often part of this celebration and

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remembrance of the dealer departed.

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I love the day of the dead, which is actually three days lasting

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from October 31st to November 2nd.

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And is celebrated.

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To honor the deceased.

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DIA de Los Muertos.

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Isn't a somber or sad celebration.

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It's a colorful festival where people celebrate and remember

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their deceased ancestors.

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So the drink of the week is inspired by DIA de Los Muertos

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and is called spirits raised.

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Here's what you're going to need.

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Two ounces of Tequila.

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One ounce of Coco Lopez, one ounce of pineapple juice

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and one ounce of lime juice.

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What you're going to do is you're going to add all of those ingredients

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to a shaker filled with ice, shake it real well, and straight into

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a cocktail glass filled with ice.

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All right friends.

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I hope this episode was helpful.

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If you liked what you heard today, please leave a review

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and subscribe to the podcast.

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With your friends and others who may enjoy it or find it useful.

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Thanks for being here.

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Until next week.