From Chump to Champ: The Power of Habits with Darren LaCroix

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Has anyone ever said to you.

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Don't quit your day job.

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Well, that's a shit thing to say, because it implies that if you aren't

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proficient at something from the very beginning, Then you never will be,

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and you should just give up trying.

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One of the biggest mistakes you can make in business is thinking that

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things will come to you quickly.

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Believing that anyone has ever become an overnight success.

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Welcome to episode 74.

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Where I am joined by the one and only Darren LaCroix.

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Darren is the author of two books, laugh and get rich and the speaker's edge.

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He's the only speaker in the world who is an accredited speaker.

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Certified speaking professional and a world champion of public speaking.

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We're going to get to that in a moment.

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Hang tight.

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This episode is sponsored by Nickerson.

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A full service, branding, marketing PR and communications agency with team members

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in Boston, LA, Miami, and New York city.

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Visit them@nickersoncos.com.

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I met Darren at the national speakers association conference.

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He was actually the second person I met on my first day at the event.

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And because I have apparently been living under a massive rock.

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I didn't know the legend that is Darren LaCroix.

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Yes.

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In the speaking world, Darren retains legend status, but he

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didn't become a legend overnight.

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So let's rewind the tape a bit and give you some history.

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In the 1990s, after a devastating business failure, Darren was forced to

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live with his parents and get a second job to pay off his business debt.

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As a subordinate in a sea of, cubicles clocking in each day, his dream

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was not to someday run the company.

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Instead, his dream was to make people laugh.

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That he had one big problem.

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He wasn't funny.

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Like not at all.

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Having nothing to lose.

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He tried an open mic night at a Boston comedy club.

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He bombed miserably.

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As he walked off stage, the headliner performer said to

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him, don't quit your day job.

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Determined to escape his life of monotonous Mondays.

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Darren refused to accept a fee and use that humiliation rejection and failure

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as a fuel to pursue a dream that even his friends and family said was ridiculous.

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Without a funny bone in his body.

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He may have been least likely to be a comedian.

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But he had a willingness to fail.

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He made incredible sacrifices for his passion.

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And even though his journey shifted Darren received guidance and discovered

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a formula that yielded such abundance success at even surprised him.

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Over the next few years, he was relentless in his pursuit of comedy.

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On the way he found another outlet, professional speaking.

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In 2001, his persistence, patience, and presser virulence paid off

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when he won the title of world.

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Champion of public speaking in that contest, Darren beat out 25.

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Thousand contestants from 14 countries with a speech that people are still

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talking and laughing about today.

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Now Darren travels, the world inspiring audiences, with his least likely story

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of how he went from chump to champ.

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He's spoken in every state in the United States, as well as 45 international

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cities, including Milan Shanghai.

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And Kuala Lumpur and today friends, he is here with us to talk about how with

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habits and mindset, we can all look forward to quitting our day job one day.

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Hey, I'm so glad you're here.

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I'm so number one first off.

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I'm so glad we met and now I'm so glad you're here.

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So let's talk about the journey from after.

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I I've watched a bunch of your speeches.

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So I actually saw the comedy, um, bit that you did that bombed.

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And when I say it bond like it, it bond.

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How did you go from that to where you are now?

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I just want the whole thing.

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It's so amazing.

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Well, thank you.

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Thank you.

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Let me back up a half a step because then people understand even why it

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was kind of crazy to do it in the first place I had always been told.

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I wasn't funny when I was eight years old, I'd tried to make my family laugh.

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My cousin and brother were making everybody laugh.

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Polish family holiday.

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And I was at the kids table.

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I stood up and I threw out a punchline and I hushed my whole family and people

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like, dude, you're just not funny.

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And I squirmed down in my seat.

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I was so embarrassed and I told myself, I will never, ever try to be

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funny again, because it hurts so much.

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Uh, but after my college days at Bryan college, I feel Rhode

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Island, not too far from you.

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Uh, I went from the American dream.

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I bought a subway sandwich shop.

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I leveraged all my credit.

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And if you don't know subway at that point had 5,000 stores.

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They had a 98% success.

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I,

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you bought one.

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I was in the 2% that didn't you make it?

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And I sold it at a loss.

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So technically it wasn't a failure, but it was for me.

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And my buddy gave me this motivational tape of a man named

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Brian Tracy, and, um, lowest point in my life, driving down the road.

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My buddy had given me this and I'm listening and he says, he asks a question.

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He said, what would you dare to dream?

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If you knew you wouldn't fail.

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And I thought about it, like, okay, let me take this serious.

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I was like, I would be a comedian.

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I mean, how cool would that be?

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Make an audience laugh and earn a living at that.

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That would be the ultimate, but all of a sudden, the voice of

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reason popped up by my shoulder and said, but you're not funny.

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Remember that eight year old incident?

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And I went back to that eight year old dreamer and I said, you know what?

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I got nothing to lose.

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I live at home with mom and dad.

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Uh, I'm college loans, still business loans, who cares.

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So I couldn't live with the regret of wondering what if regrets suck.

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And I just couldn't do that.

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Thank God, because I said, okay, now if I'm going to do it for anyone who has

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any dream, any passion, the only thing worse than trying it is trying it half.

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And then still not knowing.

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So I went to a little comedy club.

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I had never been in one in my life.

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I went to a comedy club in Wister, Massachusetts, or as we say, Wister,

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Wister, and I walked up to the headliner.

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Now I'm a hyper introvert.

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So it took courage to just walk up to this stranger, nevermind the headliner.

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And I said, hi, my name is Darren.

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I want to try this.

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What do I need to do?

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And he asked me a question.

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He said, are you funny?

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I said, no.

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He said good.

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Like what do you mean?

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Good.

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And he went on to explain that people who are class clowns, people who are naturally

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funny, he said, that's one skillset.

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What if you took a class, clown handed him a microphone and you know this and you

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put them in front of a hundred strangers.

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They couldn't make them laugh.

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That's a different skill set.

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Now they could learn it.

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But right out of being funny around the family to a hundred strangers with

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a microphone that doesn't work, he said, but that skillset can be learned.

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And I did a Scooby doo I'm like what?

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And he handed me an ounce of hope and he said, two things.

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Number one.

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Uh, go to open mic nights and watch other people just starting

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out, which does made sense.

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Cause when I told my friends and family, they compared me to Seinfeld, someone who

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wasn't funny, just thinking about it to someone at the top of their profession.

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If you've got a hope, a dream you want to quit your day job, whatever.

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Yeah.

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Don't compare yourself to someone who's at the top.

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Learn from them.

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Be inspired by them.

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Find, as you say, find their habits, but don't compare yourself.

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That's not fair.

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So you said number one, go to an open mic night.

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Number two, get the book.

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It's like book.

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There's a book about standup comedy.

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Well, of course there's books about everything, but

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I w I wasn't aware of that.

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It didn't even Dawn on me that someone had been there, done that.

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You know, wrote the book.

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And so he said, go get the book.

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The book was called a stand-up comedy, the book by Judy Carter.

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So I immediately went and got it on Sunday night, I went to stitches

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comedy club, which at that time was right outside of Fenway park.

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And I watched an open mic night and I thought these people suck.

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I can do that.

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I can suck too.

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I can talk to, and it literally, I kid you not, it, it inspired me.

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So I went back every Sunday night for two months, I read the book.

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I did the exercise.

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It was April 26th, 1992.

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The clip that you saw stitches Boston mass.

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I brought my friends with me because I was growing up.

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I was a mommy's boy I chicken.

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Everything.

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And I told my friends I'm going up tonight.

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I don't care how bad it is.

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I'm never doing this again.

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So it wasn't a dream at this point.

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It was a not living my life with regret at this point.

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And so I went up on stage nervous shaking, literally had my little,

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my little jokes on note cards.

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My voice is quivering.

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I'm doing the Peter Brady thing and yeah.

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There was one point where I was telling a joke about Dr.

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Robert Goddard, who had launched the first liquid fuel rocket in

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history, in my hometown, Auburn.

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And so I was making light of every town in new England claims to have the

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claim to fame that changed the world.

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And so I was making light of it and I said, Dr.

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Goddard's rocket took off in Auburn and it was.

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Vertically, but I did horizontal with my arm because I was so nervous.

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My body language was horizontal, but I said vertical.

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And at that instant, I realized I messed up and I just said, ah, shoot.

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Well, it's not the actual word I used

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use that word on this

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this, but I said, oh shit and everything.

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But he laughed.

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And I was looking around like, what, what happened?

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And that was the only laugh I got that night.

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Okay.

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As I walked tough stages.

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Other comedian put his arm around my shoulder.

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He said, don't worry, man.

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It's just your first time.

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And I'm like, don't worry.

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Did you see what I did?

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Yeah,

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I got a laugh.

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am watching a comedy.

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Why so often do we let other people tell us what successes

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right.

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everyone thought I bombed?

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I'm looked like I made a mistake.

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I ended up five minutes of time.

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I had one thing to do.

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I could get rid of everything that didn't work and figure out how to reproduce.

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The one thing that did, I could do this.

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And that's when the dream happened.

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I was like, I was all in and I got every mentor.

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I could, I read every book that I could.

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And the book is important because I think to be successful at anything, you need

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two things, which is number one direction.

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You don't work your butt off, but if you're working your butt off in

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the wrong direction, you're wasting.

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right.

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Number two is correction that mentor, that guide that person who will

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realign you and get you back on track.

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And I think that's what I call the math to mastery effort.

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We've got to put in the effort times, direction, which

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direction are you working in?

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Plus correction effort, times, direction, plus correction.

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You can master anything.

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Most people aren't willing to put in there.

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Or they have their ego in the way, and they don't get the direction

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or they, they think they're a DIY or they don't need any correction.

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And I just think that's the simple, most powerful formula.

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If you've got a crazy, ridiculous dream and really want to

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make something big happen.

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So, how does that fall into the habits that you learned?

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Well, so going to my mentors, I asked them, okay,

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what, you know, what do I do?

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What, what do I do?

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And I was looking for commonality.

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So I went to one thing I learned, because at that point I was

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absorbed with Brian, Tracy and Tony Robbins and motivational tapes.

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And they said, I kept hearing it over and over again.

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They said, go to people who were the best.

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Because they think differently.

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Okay.

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So in the comedy world, I was a wannabe, you know, and I

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wasn't even an open mic maker yet.

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And there's opening acts, middle acts and headliners, and what I took from their

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advice, applying it to the comedy world.

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And now the speaking world is go to the headliners.

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When you're a wannabe, you're happy to be around an open room.

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Uh, uh, an opening act, but they have the worst habits they have.

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They haven't made the mistakes yet.

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So you headliners made the mistakes.

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They been there and done that.

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They've seen it.

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I've seen it from everyone.

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So if you go to the wrong people, you're going to get bad habits

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that will lengthen your learning.

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And so when I went to the headliners, the one thing I heard in common

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from every one of them is stage time, stage, time, stage, time.

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They said, Darren, any day that you don't get on stage is a day that you don't grow.

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Right.

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And I was like, well, we don't have to be good.

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They said, no, no, no, no.

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You have to go up to get good.

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Now think about this in the Boston comedy world, there's only four

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open mic nights and there's a hundred, want to be comedians.

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So there are many nights I used to drive my, my high school

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buddies used to make fun of me.

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I would drive two and a half hours to Portland, Maine to go on stage for five

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minutes for free and drive home and go to my day job the next morning and my high

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school buddies, just to make fun of me.

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They would say, Darren, you're stupid.

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Now I get to fly all over the world and get to do what I love to do for a living.

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Now they look at me and I stay in nice hotels around the world.

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Now.

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So apparently you can go from stupid to luck.

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If someone calls you stupid, keep going you're on the right path.

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How did you transition from comedy to professional speaking?

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Because you are funny I've watched some of your professional, speeches,

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your keynotes, and you are funny in them, but you're not a comedian.

Julie: 00:14:09

Then you're actually teaching people.

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Yeah.

Darren: 00:14:12

I mean, I learned the elements and I'm so forever thankful for my background,

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but when you know the number one habits, stage time trying to get it, you know, I

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would go to hang out at comedy clubs and like this, and maybe you can get on to.

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So I was at comedy I'd work my day job.

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I go to comedy clubs six or seven nights a week just to maybe get on.

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And so I was like, this is crazy.

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And I was sitting at my desk at Bose corporation.

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So I worked on Bose mountain in Framingham, Massachusetts,

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and one of those cube farms.

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And they had had this newsletter.

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Uh, about this thing called Toastmasters.

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And I picked it up.

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I'm like, what's that?

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I start reading it.

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I'm like, Hey, wait a minute.

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Here's a place I could get.

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Stage time.

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During the day comedy clubs we open at night, I could fail twice a day.

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Woo.

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So I walked into my very first Toastmasters club, not knowing

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what it was, just potentially a place to get stage time.

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And I, I walked in and I noticed something very distinct

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different from the comedy clubs.

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These people are warm, encouraging, and I immediately joined most of them.

Darren: 00:15:20

Exactly.

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I immediately joined for Toastmasters.

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Because I saw the value.

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My mentor has said that habit, that habit, that habit.

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So if the key is the habit and getting more experience than if I double my head.

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In a day, you know, I will exponentially change my trajectory.

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And I think that's what a lot of people miss is like, yeah, you

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can learn from a course, which is direction, nothing wrong with that,

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but it's what you do with the course.

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It's what you do after.

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It's how you go apply it and mess up and adjust it and mess up again.

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I was just the guy willing to work harder than most because

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wanted it better, better.

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I wanted it worse

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bad.

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You wanted it more bad.

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More bad man, more bad.

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And so when I found Toastmasters, I went there to get better as a speaker,

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excuse me, better as a comedian, I didn't even know what a speaker was.

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And eventually I started realizing I'm like, oh, wait a minute.

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And it was actually my club president who Sarah said, um, he pulled me

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aside before one of the meetings.

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He said, Darren, do you realize what you have to do?

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I might give, I'm not here to give anything.

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I'm here to get stage time.

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And he, Sarah, Darren, what do you have to give?

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And I'm like, you got to explain it.

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I don't understand the question.

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He said, you're trying to learn how to be funnier.

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All the Toastmasters wish they were funnier.

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Why don't you do a speech on how to add humor to your presentation

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and going back to the Tony Robbins tapes, I'm like, but I suck.

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I'm not even an opening act.

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He said, yeah, but you've studied it more than us you're ahead of us.

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So I took him up on the challenge that I did, my first educational speech.

Darren: 00:16:58

And, uh, you know, I took one of the exercises from

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one of the books that I read.

Darren: 00:17:02

I gave full credit.

Darren: 00:17:03

I taught it in 10 minutes and people were taking notes and I

Darren: 00:17:08

thought how rude I'm working here?

Darren: 00:17:12

Because I came from the entertainment side, not the educational side.

Darren: 00:17:15

I didn't realize notes was good.

Julie: 00:17:18

Oh yeah.

Darren: 00:17:20

And people actually thanked me after.

Darren: 00:17:22

And I was like, thanked me.

Darren: 00:17:24

That's never happened in my comedy career other than being thankful.

Darren: 00:17:28

I'm done.

Darren: 00:17:28

Cause I was bombing and that was my first educational speech.

Darren: 00:17:33

And my first experience when I was like, oh, I'm actually a pretty good teacher.

Darren: 00:17:38

I'm thankful for my background in comedy.

Darren: 00:17:41

And I did both for about six years.

Darren: 00:17:43

And about 1998, I, I started letting go.

Darren: 00:17:47

The comedy is awesome.

Darren: 00:17:49

I love it.

Darren: 00:17:49

It's fun.

Darren: 00:17:50

But when you're in a comedy club, six or seven nights a week, if

Darren: 00:17:53

you have a personality like mine, like I was just being drained.

Darren: 00:17:58

Like my soul was being drained.

Darren: 00:17:59

It can be fun and exciting.

Darren: 00:18:00

I still love it, but going every night and just, it just didn't work for me.

Darren: 00:18:05

So I drifted away from that and I still enjoy it.

Darren: 00:18:08

But only on occasion.

Julie: 00:18:11

Uh, any wake up calls along the way

Darren: 00:18:14

How long is your show?

Julie: 00:18:16

can be as long as you want, I'll just edit you out.

Darren: 00:18:21

Yeah, there were a lot of wake up calls along the way.

Darren: 00:18:23

Like I had been a standup and I came into the speaking world that I had no

Darren: 00:18:28

idea that, uh, most people, when they come into the speaking world, they're

Darren: 00:18:31

like at the lower rung of the ladder.

Darren: 00:18:33

But when I came in, because I did stand up, I came in like halfway.

Darren: 00:18:38

I was like, well, that's interesting because people like you to stand up

Julie: 00:18:42

Uh, yeah.

Darren: 00:18:44

because they put it at such a high regard.

Darren: 00:18:46

I'm just like, oh, well, I'm just willing to go get rejected over and over.

Darren: 00:18:50

That's all doesn't mean I'm good, but you do stand up.

Darren: 00:18:54

And so in their world to them, that was a big deal.

Darren: 00:18:56

So I still had to learn speaking, but one of, uh, one of my big wake-up calls.

Darren: 00:19:03

I met my coach, Mark Brown.

Darren: 00:19:04

I never got coached before, but when I found myself in the speech contest,

Darren: 00:19:09

my, uh, my comedy mentor had seen that, you know, I heard in the speaking

Darren: 00:19:13

world, you've got to find your story.

Darren: 00:19:14

You've got to find your story.

Darren: 00:19:15

You got to find your story and like what stories I would look,

Darren: 00:19:19

try it, try it, try it, try it.

Darren: 00:19:21

And my mentor said, Darren, stop trying to find that story

Darren: 00:19:25

that will launch your career.

Darren: 00:19:27

And instead take the stories you already have.

Darren: 00:19:30

And make them so good people will pay to hear them.

Darren: 00:19:36

And that was a game changer for me because I was marketing myself.

Darren: 00:19:40

I was working my day job.

Darren: 00:19:41

I was speaking as often as I could.

Darren: 00:19:42

The one thing I wasn't doing was trying to perfect.

Darren: 00:19:45

My craft.

Darren: 00:19:46

Duh.

Darren: 00:19:47

And so in 2001, he had passed away and two years later, I

Darren: 00:19:52

finally said, you know what?

Darren: 00:19:53

I got to take his advice because I'm just like mediocre at best,

Darren: 00:19:57

and I'm not getting any better.

Darren: 00:19:59

And so I got a couple of coaches and one of them, his name was Mark Brown.

Darren: 00:20:03

He had won the world championship before.

Darren: 00:20:05

And I was like, okay, I got the great coach.

Darren: 00:20:08

I got my standup background.

Darren: 00:20:09

I was getting paid about $2,500 a speech at that point.

Darren: 00:20:13

But I still had my day job because it was, I was booked once every six months.

Darren: 00:20:17

So you can't really live on that.

Darren: 00:20:19

And, uh, yeah, once every six months, not the speaker's dream.

Darren: 00:20:24

So, but you know, I was working at work and at work it, so.

Darren: 00:20:28

When I first met mark, I had to write a new speech with the top three

Darren: 00:20:32

levels of the world championship.

Darren: 00:20:33

You have to come with a new speech of the come with the new speech.

Darren: 00:20:36

And so I was out of good stories that I could use and work on.

Darren: 00:20:40

So it was the first time I had had to start from scratch.

Darren: 00:20:44

Taking my mentor's advice and taking the stories I had and working on

Darren: 00:20:48

them with my whole goal, to put them back in the speech, thus raising

Darren: 00:20:51

the value of the whole speech because of the story was improved.

Darren: 00:20:55

So now I had to work from scratch and anyway, my mentor, his name is Mark Brown.

Darren: 00:20:59

He had won the world championship in 1995.

Darren: 00:21:01

He gave me some advice.

Darren: 00:21:02

And so I took his advice.

Darren: 00:21:04

I wrote the speech from scratch, which I had never really done

Darren: 00:21:06

before I drive two and a half hours.

Darren: 00:21:09

To work with my coach and I thought, you know, he's going to be so impressed.

Darren: 00:21:13

And this is the greatest speech in the history of Toastmasters.

Darren: 00:21:16

And we're at reader's digest in the little corporate theater.

Darren: 00:21:20

And I was there with mark.

Darren: 00:21:22

And if you don't know mark, he stands about six foot two.

Darren: 00:21:24

He's got a heart of gold.

Darren: 00:21:25

He's a native of Jamaica and he's got this beautiful, booming laugh.

Darren: 00:21:29

Like the guy from the old 7up commercial.

Darren: 00:21:31

Ah huh.

Darren: 00:21:32

Huh?

Darren: 00:21:33

That was my coach.

Darren: 00:21:34

So as I handed him the greatest speech in the history of

Darren: 00:21:37

Toastmasters, I, sir, it was so good.

Darren: 00:21:40

You could hear choirs of angels.

Darren: 00:21:47

Mark took the speech.

Darren: 00:21:55

Oh, Darden.

Darren: 00:21:56

We have some work to do.

Darren: 00:21:59

What I did everything you told me to do.

Darren: 00:22:01

I wrote the greatest speech that I could write from the level I was at,

Darren: 00:22:05

but you don't know what you don't know.

Darren: 00:22:09

And I was average at best what I wasn't was world-class so I thought if he gave

Darren: 00:22:14

me a couple of tweaks, I would be fine.

Darren: 00:22:17

I had no idea.

Darren: 00:22:18

I needed a schooling on how to create a world-class presentation.

Darren: 00:22:22

There was so much more depth to go into and that's, you know, it's like going to

Darren: 00:22:26

Ikea, you buy a new piece of furniture with a buddy who, and then you bring it

Darren: 00:22:31

home and you never read the instructions.

Darren: 00:22:32

And you wonder why there's two brackets and a screw leftover because

Darren: 00:22:36

you didn't read the instructions.

Darren: 00:22:37

Well, if you want to be world-class you got to go and get a teacher who's

Darren: 00:22:40

world-class, you know, you want to, whatever mountain you want to climb,

Darren: 00:22:44

who, who has been there and done that.

Darren: 00:22:46

Their book, read their book, do their habits.

Darren: 00:22:49

You know, there's so much that we can do, but we waste so much

Darren: 00:22:52

time and our ego gets in the way.

Darren: 00:22:54

So I learned from that lesson, if you're not coachable, there is no cure.

Julie: 00:22:59

Hm.

Darren: 00:23:00

If you're not coachable, there is no cure.

Darren: 00:23:02

And my ego had gotten away and that's when I became a student again.

Darren: 00:23:06

And that's when I really changed my career.

Julie: 00:23:09

Interesting.

Julie: 00:23:11

Interesting.

Julie: 00:23:12

That's so interesting that you, you invest it because that's

Julie: 00:23:14

hard for some people too.

Julie: 00:23:16

And obviously coaches cost money that you took the financial next step of

Julie: 00:23:20

investing in a coach for yourself.

Julie: 00:23:23

Because I think a lot of people struggle with that decision.

Darren: 00:23:26

Yeah, it's a, it's a tough decision and I've

Darren: 00:23:29

learned over and over again.

Darren: 00:23:30

It works now full disclosure mark at that point had just started

Darren: 00:23:34

coaching and he wasn't charging me.

Darren: 00:23:37

So I just want to say that yet.

Darren: 00:23:39

I get it now.

Darren: 00:23:40

And I see the value of coaches.

Darren: 00:23:42

I get coached.

Darren: 00:23:43

I invest in coaching and mark and I.

Darren: 00:23:46

Now we have our own podcast and we've, uh, I've helped mark

Darren: 00:23:49

grow his coaching business.

Darren: 00:23:50

So now he gets 500 bucks an hour.

Darren: 00:23:53

For one hour shot, but most people, you got to do three or four or five

Darren: 00:23:56

sessions to really make progress.

Darren: 00:23:59

And I see the value when I'm working on new things.

Darren: 00:24:02

Like, Nope.

Darren: 00:24:03

Uh, I'd love to take the course, but I'd rather you hold my hand.

Darren: 00:24:06

Here's some money and it saves you time and you avoid so much frustration.

Darren: 00:24:11

Because you and I have our own stories.

Darren: 00:24:13

We have our own style.

Darren: 00:24:14

We have our own issues.

Darren: 00:24:16

Everyone's got their own issues.

Darren: 00:24:18

So why not go to someone who's skilled at digging out what you have in you

Darren: 00:24:23

in order to get you there faster, it's simply the fastest way to grow.

Julie: 00:24:28

So one of the stories that I loved, I watched a lot of your videos by videos.

Julie: 00:24:33

I mean, videos of your keynotes, um, out for your presentations

Julie: 00:24:37

for different companies.

Julie: 00:24:39

And in one of the videos you told this story, which I loved,

Julie: 00:24:44

about a lesson you learned.

Julie: 00:24:48

From a grouchy old woman at a craps table in Vegas.

Julie: 00:24:53

And I do love this story.

Julie: 00:24:54

So I want you to just give us this story because I think it works so

Julie: 00:24:58

well with what we're talking about

Darren: 00:24:59

Sure.

Darren: 00:25:00

Sure.

Darren: 00:25:00

Absolutely.

Darren: 00:25:01

That's one of my favorites too.

Darren: 00:25:02

And it was a big aha.

Darren: 00:25:03

So I live in Las Vegas, lived here several years, but I'm not a gambler.

Darren: 00:25:08

And one of my friends was running a Hollywood fundraiser and I happened

Darren: 00:25:12

to be in Hollywood and she invited me to go cause she was kind of hosting

Darren: 00:25:16

the party and I was like, yeah, sure.

Darren: 00:25:17

I'll, you know, I'm here, I'll hang out for awhile.

Darren: 00:25:19

And so I didn't know anybody.

Darren: 00:25:21

I'm an introvert.

Darren: 00:25:23

And I was like, you know what?

Darren: 00:25:24

I should learn craft.

Darren: 00:25:26

Like, if I'm going to be here and have to be at this party, I don't

Darren: 00:25:30

really want to talk to anybody.

Darren: 00:25:31

Cause I'm introvert.

Darren: 00:25:32

Let me go at least understand the game.

Darren: 00:25:34

So I walked over to the craps table and I'm sitting there and I'm watching

Darren: 00:25:38

and I'm studying and in-between people who would come to the craps table.

Darren: 00:25:43

I'd asked the, I guess they're called it dealer.

Darren: 00:25:45

Or I don't know what they're called, but the, the person who was running the

Darren: 00:25:47

table, I would ask them, crush it to ask them a question to ask my question.

Darren: 00:25:51

Then more people would come and play in this.

Darren: 00:25:53

This little old lady comes up to me and she reminded me.

Darren: 00:25:56

She had these arthritis hands.

Darren: 00:25:58

She reminded me of my grandmother, but she had this little raunchy

Darren: 00:26:01

look on her face and she looked up at me to see what I was doing.

Darren: 00:26:06

She looked back, she started playing and then she looked up at me again.

Darren: 00:26:09

She's like young man, what are you doing?

Darren: 00:26:12

And I'm like, well, I'm learning to play crap.

Darren: 00:26:15

She said, well, put some money in the game.

Darren: 00:26:18

I said, but I don't know how, like I can't.

Darren: 00:26:20

Put it in the game.

Darren: 00:26:21

If I don't even know how, uh, and she just stared me down, she would not go away.

Darren: 00:26:29

She said, young man, put some money in the game.

Darren: 00:26:32

You'll learn faster.

Darren: 00:26:34

And so just to shut her up, I put money in the game and she was right.

Darren: 00:26:42

You learn faster when you have some skin in the game.

Julie: 00:26:46

Okay.

Darren: 00:26:47

I could have sat there all night, but I would not have learned as

Darren: 00:26:49

much as if I had some money in the game.

Darren: 00:26:53

And I don't know what that little old lady's name was, but

Darren: 00:26:55

she taught me a valuable lesson

Julie: 00:26:57

Yeah.

Darren: 00:26:58

to get in the game.

Darren: 00:27:00

You can't learn it from the sidelines.

Julie: 00:27:03

Yeah.

Julie: 00:27:04

Yeah.

Julie: 00:27:04

And it's, it's so true when I think about people with anything

Julie: 00:27:08

it's whatever you want to do, whatever you want to be good at.

Julie: 00:27:12

If you don't.

Julie: 00:27:14

Do it and learn from your mistake.

Julie: 00:27:16

I would say you can't learn from you just make mistakes.

Julie: 00:27:18

If you don't make any, but you have to get in there and do it and you have to

Julie: 00:27:21

put yourself out there, no matter what for me, cause I'm a networking expert.

Julie: 00:27:24

Whether it's going to an event and failing miserably, meeting people and

Julie: 00:27:27

talking to people and feeling like, boy, I really put my foot in my mouth on that

Julie: 00:27:30

one, you know, or for me learning to become a better professional speaker.

Julie: 00:27:35

I always say I taped my first professional speeches and they are.

Julie: 00:27:42

To watch they are brutal.

Julie: 00:27:45

The content was great.

Julie: 00:27:47

I was terrible, you know?

Julie: 00:27:48

And you have to you anything that is you too, that is important to you.

Julie: 00:27:55

Yes.

Julie: 00:27:55

You have to, you have to have skin in the game for you to get better at it.

Darren: 00:28:00

Now you can't be a perpetual student.

Darren: 00:28:01

I have, I teach presenters and how to create unforgettable presentations,

Darren: 00:28:06

how to tell better stories.

Darren: 00:28:07

And we've had some people who come to our events and they come to our

Darren: 00:28:10

events and they come to our events.

Darren: 00:28:11

And I finally told them until you go give a speech with what you've learned.

Darren: 00:28:16

You will not be allowed to come to any more of our events.

Darren: 00:28:19

Like I love people.

Darren: 00:28:21

I love, you know, every humor camp, we have a story camp, unforgettable

Darren: 00:28:24

presentations, but I'm like, unless you're going to go do it.

Darren: 00:28:27

You're you're, you're taking up a spot and you're not truly getting

Darren: 00:28:31

all the learning out of it because you're just taking the course.

Darren: 00:28:34

You're not getting quote unquote, the experience.

Darren: 00:28:36

You're not in the game.

Darren: 00:28:38

When I was in, when I was in high school, a big lesson was, I was.

Darren: 00:28:44

It's riding the pine.

Darren: 00:28:45

If you will, second string and everything.

Darren: 00:28:47

I wasn't that good.

Darren: 00:28:48

I liked sports and my dad took a picture of me playing football on the

Darren: 00:28:52

sidelines and I'm like, dad, I don't think I picture me in the sidelines.

Darren: 00:28:55

And he said, but Darren, you're never in the game.

Julie: 00:28:58

Yeah.

Darren: 00:28:58

That's beside the point.

Darren: 00:29:00

And you know, I was one of those kids that, unless you were way ahead

Darren: 00:29:03

or way behind, like you, you just, you're not going to be in the game.

Darren: 00:29:06

And I realized now I wanted to be in the game.

Darren: 00:29:12

But I wasn't doing the work to get the coaches, the decision-makers

Darren: 00:29:18

to put me in the game.

Julie: 00:29:19

Yeah.

Julie: 00:29:20

I always say when I'm giving speeches and people are taking note and it's

Julie: 00:29:24

true when people are taking notes, I'm like, great, they're getting it.

Julie: 00:29:26

Or they're taking pictures of my slides.

Julie: 00:29:29

One of the last things I say to them is don't absorb what I've

Julie: 00:29:33

just said and not do anything.

Julie: 00:29:36

People, you know, don't absorb and not do because that's what most people will

Julie: 00:29:40

do because people always say to me, are you afraid that like, suddenly someone's

Julie: 00:29:43

going to be better at you than networking, or you give away so much for free.

Julie: 00:29:46

And I'm like, Nope.

Julie: 00:29:48

Because most people don't do.

Darren: 00:29:51

Uh huh.

Darren: 00:29:51

Exactly.

Darren: 00:29:53

Exactly.

Darren: 00:29:54

They're dreamers.

Darren: 00:29:55

They're not doers.

Darren: 00:29:56

And you've got to do both.

Julie: 00:29:58

Yeah.

Julie: 00:30:00

Going back to your world championships, speech.

Julie: 00:30:03

Number one, what was it about?

Julie: 00:30:04

And number two, how did you decide?

Julie: 00:30:07

Okay, this is my speech for this, for this world championship speaking.

Darren: 00:30:11

Yeah.

Darren: 00:30:12

And that goes back to the power of coaching, because I

Darren: 00:30:15

didn't know where to start.

Darren: 00:30:16

And my coach said, okay, choose a child in your life.

Darren: 00:30:20

And I don't have any children.

Darren: 00:30:22

So I chose my eldest enough.

Darren: 00:30:23

You might go the closest to me.

Darren: 00:30:25

And he said, okay, if you are going to die tomorrow, What one lesson that you learned

Darren: 00:30:31

from your life, would you want to pass on to Michael to help him through his.

Darren: 00:30:37

Whoa.

Darren: 00:30:38

See that forced me to go deeper in me and most people, uh, even

Darren: 00:30:43

now as the world champion 20 years ago, people come to us every year.

Darren: 00:30:47

What's the formula.

Darren: 00:30:47

What's the formula.

Darren: 00:30:48

I'm like, I don't know your life.

Darren: 00:30:50

I can't just tell you here's the winning formula because you will.

Darren: 00:30:54

That's not from you, that's not in that deep place.

Darren: 00:30:56

And so he said, Darren, don't just answer that.

Darren: 00:30:59

Just take a few days and write out every lesson you've ever

Darren: 00:31:02

learned on a sheet of paper.

Darren: 00:31:04

So I got a pad of paper is halfway down.

Darren: 00:31:06

The third page I wrote down, I became a comedian because I was willing to fail.

Darren: 00:31:13

And if there is one lesson I could give to my nephew that you could learn anything

Darren: 00:31:18

you want, if you're willing to fail.

Darren: 00:31:19

And most people aren't.

Darren: 00:31:21

So the working title became willing to fail.

Darren: 00:31:24

And I told my, my story, the, the Brian Tracy story, and little

Darren: 00:31:28

more to it, but it really came from that essence that, Hey, Dr.

Darren: 00:31:32

Goddard.

Darren: 00:31:33

But, you know, we did get a rocket to the moon, but that first, first, his

Darren: 00:31:37

first flight was only 41 feet high.

Darren: 00:31:39

The New York times, disc Tim, they put a headline moon, rocket misses

Darren: 00:31:43

target by 238,799 and a half miles.

Darren: 00:31:48

I was like, Bastards.

Darren: 00:31:52

And they didn't attracted until after he had passed away.

Darren: 00:31:55

But for his wife's sake, they finally retracted that headline

Darren: 00:31:58

because eventually we got to the moon and it was because of Dr.

Darren: 00:32:02

Goddard.

Darren: 00:32:03

But sometimes we put too high of expectations on that first flight,

Julie: 00:32:07

Hmm.

Darren: 00:32:08

you know, and that's with me, me and my stitches, everyone else

Darren: 00:32:11

was like, well, you bombed, sorry.

Darren: 00:32:12

I was like, are you kidding me?

Darren: 00:32:13

There was a whisper of a laugh.

Darren: 00:32:15

And I think that's what a lot of people do.

Darren: 00:32:17

Yeah.

Darren: 00:32:18

They would focus on the other four minutes and 58 seconds.

Darren: 00:32:21

I focused on those two seconds at work and I ended it.

Darren: 00:32:25

I'm like, I don't care if it was a mistake, I'll just make more mistakes.

Julie: 00:32:29

Or the two seconds that felt really good.

Julie: 00:32:31

Like you want to feel that feeling, right?

Darren: 00:32:33

Absolutely.

Darren: 00:32:34

It was, it was like a drug and it was so good and so powerful

Darren: 00:32:39

that it just inspired me.

Darren: 00:32:40

I focused on that.

Darren: 00:32:41

And when I thought about it years later, like why, why then?

Darren: 00:32:45

Why did they laugh then?

Darren: 00:32:47

And I realized that I was so nervous.

Darren: 00:32:49

I was so caught up.

Darren: 00:32:50

I was worried about my friends.

Darren: 00:32:51

I was worried about what I was going to say that when I did mess up for one split

Darren: 00:32:56

second, I became myself authentically onstage when I just got disgusted with

Darren: 00:33:03

myself and said, oh shit, like what?

Darren: 00:33:06

They laughed at that because I became real one second.

Darren: 00:33:10

And that's why worked.

Julie: 00:33:13

Yeah, that I didn't know.

Julie: 00:33:15

I was going to ask this question, but because you said that like, there's

Julie: 00:33:17

all of this talk right now and being authentic, authentic is the new word.

Julie: 00:33:22

So like when you're saying I was being real, I was being authentic.

Julie: 00:33:25

Like I think people are trying too hard for authenticity and in the process

Julie: 00:33:30

they're losing the ability to be real.

Julie: 00:33:33

What do you think about that?

Darren: 00:33:34

I think you're dead on.

Darren: 00:33:36

I think you're exactly right.

Darren: 00:33:37

I think people are so worried about what our people will think of

Julie: 00:33:41

Yeah.

Darren: 00:33:41

And they're trying to put up that facade, but that's the

Darren: 00:33:44

problem is you're trying, don't try.

Darren: 00:33:49

But when you realize the power of being authentic, which is eat more

Darren: 00:33:52

easily said than done, but after you train yourself and you realize your

Darren: 00:33:56

transparency is so much more powerful,

Julie: 00:34:00

Hm.

Darren: 00:34:00

And anything you could tell people like, just, you know, I mean,

Darren: 00:34:04

here I am talking about bombing.

Darren: 00:34:06

Uh, one of my favorite jokes was about my subway failure.

Darren: 00:34:09

I took a $60,000 debt and just six short months, I doubled that debt

Darren: 00:34:14

and it turned subway sandwich shop into a nonprofit organization.

Darren: 00:34:17

You know, I'm not bragging, you know, I'm being real and authentic.

Darren: 00:34:23

And, and that's when I really, and I came right out of that Judy Carter

Darren: 00:34:26

book, like, what are your failures?

Darren: 00:34:28

We try to teach people in.

Darren: 00:34:30

Presentations, what are your failures, your flaws, and your first.

Darren: 00:34:33

Because that's when you're going to connect, somebody else has that same

Darren: 00:34:37

failure, but because you had that failure, you're the presenter and you

Darren: 00:34:40

overcame that you'll inspire them.

Darren: 00:34:43

But if we're always trying to look good, audiences are too savvy years ago, you

Darren: 00:34:48

could have pulled it off, not anymore.

Julie: 00:34:51

Right.

Darren: 00:34:52

Uh, they can sense it.

Darren: 00:34:53

And so just be real and you don't have to try so hard.

Julie: 00:34:57

So, can you tell us a little bit about stage time, university?

Julie: 00:35:00

What that is, what that does for people?

Darren: 00:35:03

Well, we help good presenters become unforgettable.

Julie: 00:35:06

What if you're a shitty presenter?

Julie: 00:35:07

Do you have to be good before you get there?

Darren: 00:35:09

I can go to Toastmasters, get to a competent, and then we can help you.

Darren: 00:35:15

But no, I mean, obviously you can come anytime you want to learn, and

Darren: 00:35:19

it's better to learn world-class techniques sooner rather than later,

Darren: 00:35:23

otherwise you have to unlearn things.

Darren: 00:35:26

And, you know, I, I love your idea of habits.

Darren: 00:35:28

That's why, when you invited me, I was thrilled.

Darren: 00:35:31

Cause I just, I actually just wrote a new book, 17 minutes to your dream.

Darren: 00:35:35

Uh, it's not out yet, but it's, it's just about everything we've talked about.

Darren: 00:35:39

It's the habit it's doing at least 17 minutes a day towards your

Darren: 00:35:43

dream and literally sticking to it.

Darren: 00:35:46

Habit time, habit, time, habit, time, whatever that habit is in your

Darren: 00:35:50

industry or what you're going for.

Darren: 00:35:52

So we have an online program.

Darren: 00:35:54

We have online events, we had live events, pre COVID, and hopefully

Darren: 00:35:57

we'll get back to those soon, but they're, you know, they're two days of

Darren: 00:36:01

world-class techniques and we've been teaching and coaching this for years.

Darren: 00:36:04

Now I do what my coach did for me.

Darren: 00:36:06

I help people dive into their story and dive into their life and, and

Darren: 00:36:10

show them how to package it in a way that it can be absorbed.

Darren: 00:36:15

You know, we've been trained from childhood to love stories,

Darren: 00:36:18

you know, you've never, never heard someone go to their.

Darren: 00:36:22

If you're listening to this, you've never gone to your kids.

Darren: 00:36:25

Uh, and right before bedtime and they say, mommy, daddy, show

Darren: 00:36:29

me a PowerPoint presentation.

Darren: 00:36:32

Now it's telling me a story.

Darren: 00:36:33

The story is the heartbeat of it.

Darren: 00:36:35

So, uh, so I'd train people to tell better stories.

Julie: 00:36:39

I want to get back to one quick thing.

Julie: 00:36:41

Very at the very beginning of this podcast, you mentioned, Seinfeld

Julie: 00:36:45

and that is who everybody thinks when they think of a comedian.

Julie: 00:36:47

And I listened to an interview with him and I can't remember

Julie: 00:36:50

who was interviewing him.

Julie: 00:36:51

And I think it was Howard stern was interviewing.

Julie: 00:36:53

And this was years ago and Howard was talking about how are you so funny?

Julie: 00:36:58

How do you come up with these bits?

Julie: 00:36:59

And he said, I write every day.

Julie: 00:37:02

And he said ha more than half of it never, ever sees the light of day,

Julie: 00:37:07

but I write every single day because if you don't do it every single

Julie: 00:37:11

day, you don't get better at it.

Julie: 00:37:14

And even still to this day, he still writes every day.

Julie: 00:37:18

And I think about one of my favorite authors is David Siddhartha.

Julie: 00:37:21

And he keeps a diary and he writes every day and then he turns those

Julie: 00:37:25

diaries into books, but they're not like exactly what he wrote in his diary.

Julie: 00:37:30

He knows how we can craft a story around the everyday life and his everyday

Julie: 00:37:36

you would think, oh, his everyday life is so interesting and so funny.

Julie: 00:37:40

And it's not, it's just the way he describes it is a story he

Julie: 00:37:43

tells about his everyday life.

Darren: 00:37:46

Exactly.

Darren: 00:37:47

Yeah, I know there's a great documentary called comedian.

Darren: 00:37:52

And what Seinfeld did is after the run of Seinfeld, he threw all his material

Darren: 00:37:57

away, put it aside and he started over.

Julie: 00:38:00

Hmm.

Darren: 00:38:00

as this documentary comedian, uh, he actually starts over and

Darren: 00:38:05

you see Jerry Seinfeld bombing.

Darren: 00:38:08

Why?

Darren: 00:38:08

Because it's new material, you know, when he does an HBO special, he's

Darren: 00:38:12

been working on that for 10 years.

Darren: 00:38:14

Like that's crazy.

Darren: 00:38:15

Of course, it's, you know, and he'll work.

Darren: 00:38:17

He'll work like.

Darren: 00:38:18

Eight hours to take an eight word joke and make it a six word joke.

Darren: 00:38:22

Why?

Darren: 00:38:22

Because the closer he can get all of the punchlines together, that is what works.

Darren: 00:38:28

And so it's the work that most people aren't willing to do.

Darren: 00:38:31

You know, he's not just going up there and winging it.

Darren: 00:38:34

I, when I learned there was like exercises, comedians go through.

Darren: 00:38:37

I'm like what?

Darren: 00:38:39

And I'm like, well, I'll go through those too.

Darren: 00:38:41

I don't even have to be super funny, but it just feels so good to get the laugh.

Julie: 00:38:45

Yeah.

Julie: 00:38:46

And so that it just ties it all back up.

Julie: 00:38:48

It's all about doing it.

Julie: 00:38:50

It's repetition.

Julie: 00:38:51

And, what other way to say that is habits, you know?

Darren: 00:38:54

Yeah.

Darren: 00:38:55

And it's it's, if you commit to those habits, you will get a breakthrough.

Darren: 00:38:59

It might not be today.

Darren: 00:39:00

It might not be tomorrow, but if you commit to those

Julie: 00:39:03

Hmm.

Darren: 00:39:03

you'll get the breakthrough you need.

Darren: 00:39:06

But it only comes from that experience, not from wanting

Darren: 00:39:09

wishing or taking a class.

Julie: 00:39:11

Right, right.

Julie: 00:39:12

Well, that's a perfect way to end it.

Julie: 00:39:15

That is the perfect way to end it.

Julie: 00:39:17

Thank you so much, Darren.

Julie: 00:39:18

This was so great.

Darren: 00:39:19

You're welcome.

Darren: 00:39:20

Thanks for inviting me.

Julie: 00:39:21

I love Darren.

Julie: 00:39:23

Like I mentioned, in the beginning of the podcast, staring was the second person

Julie: 00:39:26

I met at the NSA conference in Vegas.

Julie: 00:39:28

And when he found out that it was my first time attending.

Julie: 00:39:32

And then I had come alone and that, I didn't know anyone else.

Julie: 00:39:35

He took me under his wing and made me feel special and welcome.

Julie: 00:39:38

He included me in his dinners.

Julie: 00:39:40

Invited me to comedy shows and introduce me to other NSA members.

Julie: 00:39:45

He is one terrific person.

Julie: 00:39:47

And the stories that he shared with us today were not just

Julie: 00:39:50

fun, but also really useful.

Julie: 00:39:53

This interview is so well-timed.

Julie: 00:39:55

As people look into the new year with new goals for themselves or

Julie: 00:39:58

their businesses, and wonder how they are going to achieve those goals.

Julie: 00:40:02

And the answer is consistency.

Julie: 00:40:05

And making the things that will get you to your goals.

Julie: 00:40:08

A habit that you do every day.

Julie: 00:40:11

The only way to get better at something is to consistently do it.

Julie: 00:40:14

The only way to move towards your goal is to make steady progress every day.

Julie: 00:40:19

It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Julie: 00:40:21

No matter how long it takes.

Julie: 00:40:24

I encourage you to look up Darren and watch some of his speeches so you can

Julie: 00:40:27

see how he tells a story on stage.

Julie: 00:40:30

A story that is not only funny, but teaches valuable

Julie: 00:40:32

lessons all at the same time.

Julie: 00:40:35

Since Darren and I met in Vegas, I wanted to come up with a cocktail

Julie: 00:40:38

reminiscent of Vegas when I Googled the most popular cocktails in Vegas.

Julie: 00:40:43

Vodka red bull came up as the most popular cocktail makes total sense.

Julie: 00:40:47

I mean, you got to pump the caffeine to stay up all night,

Julie: 00:40:49

but I can not have caffeine in my diet so I can not make that drink.

Julie: 00:40:53

So thinking of a different way to look at Vegas.

Julie: 00:40:57

When I think of Vegas, I like to think of old school Vegas, like

Julie: 00:41:00

the rat pack and there is our rat pack Manhattan and each ingredient

Julie: 00:41:05

denotes a member of the rat pack.

Julie: 00:41:07

Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr.

Julie: 00:41:09

Peter Ford and Joey Bishop.

Julie: 00:41:12

Here's what you're going to need.

Julie: 00:41:13

One and a half ounces of grind Marnay one and a half ounces of whiskey.

Julie: 00:41:17

Three-four sounds of sweet vermouth and three-four sounds of dry vermouth

Julie: 00:41:21

and, uh, three dashes of bitters.

Julie: 00:41:24

Please everything in a cocktail mixing glass with ice stern

Julie: 00:41:26

till thoroughly chilled.

Julie: 00:41:28

Straight into a chilled martini glass and then zest a fresh orange twist over the

Julie: 00:41:33

glass and garner with a skewered cherry.

Julie: 00:41:35

Now, this is a pretty big drink.

Julie: 00:41:36

I mean, one and a half ounces, one and a half ounces.

Julie: 00:41:38

Three, four.

Julie: 00:41:39

It sounds a three.

Julie: 00:41:39

Now it's a big drink.

Julie: 00:41:40

But, you know what they say about martinis?

Julie: 00:41:43

They're like tits.

Julie: 00:41:45

One is never enough.

Julie: 00:41:47

Three years, too many.

Julie: 00:41:49

Too.

Julie: 00:41:50

Two's just right.

Julie: 00:41:52

That's it friends.

Julie: 00:41:53

Oh wait, actually, sorry.

Julie: 00:41:54

One more thing.

Julie: 00:41:55

One more thing.

Julie: 00:41:56

I am announcing in my newsletter this week.

Julie: 00:41:59

So the people who are on my newsletter list, I'm announcing in the newsletter

Julie: 00:42:02

this week, which is coming out today.

Julie: 00:42:05

That I am bringing back a very limited amount of my one-to-one

Julie: 00:42:10

60 minute breakthrough sessions.

Julie: 00:42:11

Again, last year I released five sessions and those sold out on the first day.

Julie: 00:42:16

So I ended up adding five more.

Julie: 00:42:18

I don't do this very often.

Julie: 00:42:20

And so now for the new year, I'm releasing 10 sessions.

Julie: 00:42:24

So, if you're interested in working with me one-to-one to tackle what you

Julie: 00:42:27

might be struggling with in regards to your networking or business development.

Julie: 00:42:31

You can click on the link in the show notes to reserve your

Julie: 00:42:35

60 minute session with me.

Julie: 00:42:38

Okay now that's it until next week.