Episode 185

How to Use Facial Decoding for Better Networking and Communication

Published on: 21st February, 2024

Step into the fascinating world of communication mastery with Brian Galke, a wizard of facial decoding. Imagine possessing the superpower to decipher someone's preferred communication style even before they utter a single word! Picture yourself confidently navigating a bustling room, armed with the knowledge of the perfect way to connect with each person present.

Join me in an engaging conversation with Brian Galke as he unveils the secrets of understanding and interacting with people through the art of facial decoding. Get ready for an eye-opening exploration into the subtle nuances of facial features that can unlock the door to effective communication. This isn't just a podcast; it's a journey into the extraordinary realm where communication meets the magic of facial expressions!

Drink of the week….The Electric Circus. 



Click to BUY MY BOOK!

CLICK TO DOWNLOAD CHAPTER ONE AUDIO FREE

Click to BOOK ME AS A SPEAKER

Click to SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER


Julie Brown:

Website

Instagram

LinkedIn

Youtube


Brian Galke

Website

LinkedIn

Transcript
Speaker:

I love etymology, which is a scientific

study of the origin and evolution

2

:

of a word or of sayings semantic.

3

:

Meaning now.

4

:

Some of, you may have heard the

term high brow or low brow before.

5

:

The terms, highbrow and lowbrow come

from phrenology, the 19th century

6

:

science of regarding the shape of

the skull as a key to intelligence.

7

:

Uh, high forehead meant.

8

:

Hi intelligence, a low one.

9

:

Not so much.

10

:

Well, the so-called science of phrenology

isn't used anymore for a number of

11

:

different reasons, not the least

of which is that it led to notable

12

:

episodes of racism and prejudice.

13

:

Um, but what if we could use physionomy.

14

:

The art of understanding other people

based on their facial features.

15

:

To unlock the keys to

better communication.

16

:

Welcome to episode 180

5 of this shit works.

17

:

A podcast dedicated to

all things networking.

18

:

Relationship building

and business development.

19

:

I'm your host, Julie Brown.

20

:

Speaker author and networking coach.

21

:

And today I am joined by Brian gawky,

a facial decoding expert who is going

22

:

to discuss how we can discover how

people like to be interacted with.

23

:

Simply by looking at

the shape of their face.

24

:

Are you skeptical about this topic?

25

:

I would be surprised if you weren't, which

is why I want to have this discussion.

26

:

My guest today thinks that the face

is a map of what we've been through

27

:

when it speaks volumes about people,

without them having to say a word.

28

:

And if we can learn to decode

it, we can easily build rapport

29

:

and strengthen our relationships.

30

:

And isn't that what this

podcast is all about.

31

:

So without further ado,

Brian, welcome to the podcast.

32

:

Brian: Thank you for having me.

33

:

Julie: Yeah, of course.

34

:

Um, find this fascinating.

35

:

My first question would be briefly,

how does someone get involved in this

36

:

expertise, technically facial decoding?

37

:

Like how do you become involved in it and

then become an expert in a speaker on it?

38

:

Brian: Sure.

39

:

Fluke Circumstance.

40

:

Like most things in life,

it was very much unplanned.

41

:

I had a friend who was coming to Dallas.

42

:

I live in Dallas, Texas.

43

:

She was coming into town for a

trade show and she said, you need to

44

:

come meet this guy who's a speaker

and he's over at the trade show.

45

:

I'm like, why do I need to meet this guy?

46

:

She said, he reads faces.

47

:

And I go, oh yeah, let me

rush over there for that one.

48

:

You know, I thought there's no

way I've got over here, body

49

:

language, books, everything.

50

:

I'm an introvert at heart.

51

:

And so I Like every good introvert

wanted to study people to figure

52

:

out how to interact with them.

53

:

And I went over there, but I

thought since I've never heard

54

:

of this, this is total BS.

55

:

I'm gonna go blow holes in this guy.

56

:

He's gonna say generic things that

are known as Barnum statements,

57

:

which are, Oh, you've had a hard

time in life or something so

58

:

generic it applies to everyone.

59

:

Julie: Is that come from like

Barnum and Bailey circus?

60

:

Oh, okay.

61

:

Very I see.

62

:

I love entomology.

63

:

Like, I love entomology so much.

64

:

Okay.

65

:

Brian: that's exactly right.

66

:

And so I went over there and I was

like, I'm going to get this guy.

67

:

I'm approved.

68

:

He's a fraud.

69

:

And he sat us down at dinner and

without, without us saying a word,

70

:

there were six, eight people with us.

71

:

And he dissected every single

person to a T including me.

72

:

And I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, what is this?

73

:

And so he had a book and what happened

was he was an attorney who went to the

74

:

pretty prestigious school here in Texas,

uh, Texas Christian university, AKA TCU.

75

:

And he went there for

undergrad and then law school.

76

:

Well, while he was studying, he

found phrenology that it's taught to

77

:

attorneys for jury consulting, and

he ended up loving it so much that he

78

:

left his law profession and decided to

teach that around the world full time.

79

:

And he created books, he created

flashcards, and it's been around

80

:

since the Greeks, where they

started trying to understand people

81

:

based on their facial features.

82

:

And what he found was he had such

incredible good luck and I guess

83

:

look is a bad term when he used the

skill, he got good feedback from it.

84

:

And so much so that what he would

do when he was traveling is he

85

:

would actually go to fairs and other

places and set up a booth and just

86

:

say, Hey, let me do it for free.

87

:

And that way he got feedback

that wasn't biased from people.

88

:

And so I thought, okay, I'll

study this and I'll see.

89

:

And as I mentioned, I

was kind of an introvert.

90

:

I was on the help desk when I found

this book and I was great at body

91

:

language, but body language is reactive.

92

:

And I'm like, wait, this is the

first proactive skill I can use.

93

:

So I bought the book.

94

:

I bought the flashcards.

95

:

I still keep them on my desk to this

day to show people, and then it's

96

:

kind of hard to see with the light.

97

:

And I would take them out and I

started getting feedback on, and it

98

:

helped me go from being on the help

desk to regional vice president of

99

:

sales, because once I learned to focus

on other people, two things happen.

100

:

One, I got on my own way, you

know, so many times as being an

101

:

introvert, we're overthinking

things that I was making it about.

102

:

Oh, what do they think about me instead

of how do I build a bond with them?

103

:

And number two is when you're

in sales, especially we get

104

:

what's called commission breath.

105

:

Cause we're so focused on what

we want to push as our agenda.

106

:

But when we learn to alter it,

it's like going to another country.

107

:

Instead of demanding that they speak

English, you learn basic phrases of their

108

:

language and it changes the engagement.

109

:

Julie: Right.

110

:

Okay.

111

:

So let's talk a little bit about

the facial features that you

112

:

mostly look at for, analysis.

113

:

Where do we start on the face?

114

:

Brian: I start with eyebrows.

115

:

But the reason for that is

because you can see eyebrows.

116

:

Julie: my glasses off so you can see

117

:

Brian: Well, actually,

here's the funny thing.

118

:

If you put your glasses back

on, most people pick glasses

119

:

that match their eyebrows.

120

:

So

121

:

Julie: Oh, I guess I do.

122

:

Brian: So that's the funny thing.

123

:

That's why I teach eyebrows.

124

:

Two reasons.

125

:

One is eyebrows lead to eye

contact, but you can also see

126

:

them from across the room.

127

:

So, for example, if you're going to

event a networking event and you don't

128

:

know the people you're going to meet,

you I start with here because then it

129

:

leads to eye contact, but you can also

figure out just from eyebrow height and

130

:

eyebrow shape, the very, very basics.

131

:

I could talk about eyebrows for

half a day, but the very basics are

132

:

the higher the eyebrow, the more

time they need to make a decision.

133

:

I just did a post about this on

Instagram today and take time.

134

:

Um, the higher eyebrow, you imagine

data trying to race down the

135

:

forehead to get into the eye, the

higher the eyebrow, you can only

136

:

go so fast, go over the speed bump.

137

:

And then try and speed up again versus

somebody's eyebrow, who's very low,

138

:

sits almost on top of their eye.

139

:

Those are people who

make decisions very fast.

140

:

So data can race down

their forehead very fast.

141

:

So if you walk into and you meet someone

and the eyebrows higher, they're gonna

142

:

need more time to process the decision.

143

:

If the eyebrows sitting on top of

the eye, get to the point faster.

144

:

And you mentioned earlier that we talked

about this in our everyday phrases.

145

:

So when we talk about in comedy, There's

highbrow humor and lowbrow humor.

146

:

Highbrow humor is when somebody tells

you a joke and you got to kind of

147

:

think about it and then you laugh.

148

:

Lowbrow humor is jackass

and three stooges.

149

:

Julie: Yeah.

150

:

Brian: So we talk about face, uh, faces

all the time in our everyday language.

151

:

And the reason for that is it was

taught also to authors and artists.

152

:

So not just attorneys, but also

to people with disabilities.

153

:

But I call it the triple A

attorneys, authors, and artists.

154

:

Why?

155

:

Because authors in older books didn't have

a picture for every character in the book.

156

:

Men wore suits, women wore dresses.

157

:

So you couldn't expand

upon their wardrobe.

158

:

The only two ways to describe characters

in a book were through their actions

159

:

and through their facial features.

160

:

Julie: Mm hmm.

161

:

Brian: And then if you've ever

watched any Disney show, read

162

:

any fairy tale, what do they do?

163

:

They tell us about the people

based on what they draw.

164

:

And that's why no matter where

you go in the world, Villains

165

:

look the same, which is vampires.

166

:

You name it.

167

:

Heroes look the same.

168

:

Someone who takes care of people

have all the rounded features.

169

:

It's because they all

took the same courses.

170

:

So we've been taught our entire

life how to understand people

171

:

based on their facial features.

172

:

It just wasn't a formal training

like we're learning today.

173

:

Julie: So, it, the eyebrows, is

that the only thing it's telling

174

:

you is how quickly they make

decisions and process information,

175

:

Brian: That's just the height of it.

176

:

There's three basic shapes of eyebrows.

177

:

There are straight eyebrows, which

is get straight to the point.

178

:

There's angled eyebrows.

179

:

What's my angle?

180

:

Help me understand it.

181

:

And then there's rounded eyebrows,

which are, they think about the people

182

:

around them first and themselves second.

183

:

So I like, I always start off the

presentations with, let me teach you

184

:

how to get free food or drinks, upgrades

in a hotel or upgrades on an airplane.

185

:

Julie: Yeah, let's do that.

186

:

I love getting free shit.

187

:

Brian: Yeah.

188

:

So the first part is if you

want free food and drink, the

189

:

first place you can go practice.

190

:

This is servers.

191

:

Why?

192

:

Because servers are overworked and

underpaid, but you can throw me into the

193

:

bus and say, Hey, I heard this podcast.

194

:

And this guy, Brian said that

your eyebrows kind of explained

195

:

a little bit about you.

196

:

Can I ask you about

what your eyebrows say?

197

:

And people go, yes.

198

:

And when you get it right, they're like,

wait, wait, let me get somebody else.

199

:

And they start bringing people over.

200

:

And when you do it all of a sudden,

they're like, can we get you anything?

201

:

You're like, yes, you can.

202

:

So that's cool.

203

:

Julie: Get me all the free shit.

204

:

Brian: Oh, yes.

205

:

And then if let's say you're going to a

hotel and you want to ask for upgrades.

206

:

Well, if they have a straight eyebrow,

you know, to get straight to the point.

207

:

So you can just walk in and

say, I'd like an upgrade.

208

:

Julie: Are there any upgrades

209

:

Brian: Exactly.

210

:

If it's an angled upgrade, are you the

person who can help me get an upgrade?

211

:

Because it's what's in it for them.

212

:

And especially if you have

status with the hotel, you can

213

:

say, Hey, I'm a diamond member.

214

:

Are you the person who can

help me with an upgrade?

215

:

And if it's a rounded eyebrow, they

think about the people around them.

216

:

You can say, Oh, that

flight was just obnoxious.

217

:

I'm just, I would love a place I

could stretch out in maybe a little

218

:

larger room to walk around in.

219

:

And then they'll go, Oh,

I can get you an upgrade.

220

:

And those same skills can

be used on the airplane.

221

:

So I'll go to the airports

and I'll give a great example.

222

:

I was in Indianapolis one time trying

to get home to Dallas, but they wanted

223

:

me to fly to LGA or LaGuardia airport.

224

:

Spend six hours there

and then catch a flight.

225

:

It was gonna be like 14

hours with the trail.

226

:

I'm like, nope, not going to do that.

227

:

So I went to the airport early.

228

:

The lady working at the gate, cause

they're the ones that have the power.

229

:

She had rounded eyebrows and I

knew there were storms coming in.

230

:

That's why my flight was being.

231

:

Uh, Delayed and moved around everything.

232

:

So my first question, because she

had rounded eyebrows was, Hey, how

233

:

are your co workers doing today?

234

:

Because they think about the people

around them first themselves.

235

:

Second, she said, they're all doing

a cast that I know it's your fault

236

:

because you guys control the weather

and the pilots and the flight

237

:

attendants and the maintenance.

238

:

You know, it's all your fault.

239

:

And she laughed.

240

:

And I said, And how are you doing today?

241

:

Is everybody being nice to you?

242

:

She said, Yes, I said, Okay, great.

243

:

Look, I'm on the eight o'clock flight, the

one that's gonna have to go to LaGuardia.

244

:

You know, I saw there's

a three o'clock flight.

245

:

I have the second best seat in the house.

246

:

If there's any way to get down that three

o'clock flight, I would just love it.

247

:

Julie: Mm hmm.

248

:

Brian: So do you think I got

on the three o'clock flight?

249

:

Julie: Yeah.

250

:

Brian: I also got bumped

to first class and

251

:

Julie: that.

252

:

Brian: it's all about people have

the power and this is just a skill.

253

:

It's not the only skill I

read body language books.

254

:

I'm currently reading a book

called the light switch.

255

:

I think you guys would love it.

256

:

Um, it's written by a former FBI agent

who ran the behavioral analysis unit

257

:

where they were teaching FBI agents.

258

:

How to figure out who they want to be

an asset to flip to come work for the U.

259

:

S.

260

:

against their country.

261

:

It's a fantastic book.

262

:

And so I'm constantly

always working on my skills.

263

:

But this was the first skill that one,

it kept me in the moment with a person.

264

:

I think everyone needs to know

how to read body language.

265

:

The top two body language books

I recommend are number one.

266

:

Janine drivers.

267

:

You say more than you think.

268

:

That's what does my body language

say about me when I walk into a room?

269

:

It's good.

270

:

It's filled with excellent exercises for

you to examine your own body language.

271

:

Then I like Joe Navarro is what

everybody is saying because it's a

272

:

very picturesque book that says what

is other people's body language saying?

273

:

So I do think it's an important skill.

274

:

But what I realized is you have to

be in the room and that's reactive

275

:

skills that you're paying attention.

276

:

Like, you know, is somebody

being put off on me?

277

:

Am I doing good?

278

:

Are they crossing their arms?

279

:

Are they leaning away?

280

:

But with faces, when I'm giving

you my time and attention in a day

281

:

and age where these lovely devices

connect us to the world, I'm holding

282

:

up my phone for since we're on audio.

283

:

Um, our phones connect us to the world,

but they disconnect us from each other.

284

:

And when you're Yeah.

285

:

And when you're learning to actually look

someone in the eye and give them your time

286

:

and attention, it's what sets you apart

in the day and age where smartwatches

287

:

and everything else distract us.

288

:

Julie: Yeah.

289

:

Let's talk a little bit about the lips.

290

:

I've heard you say you can read

a lot about somebody from the

291

:

shape of their upper lip or,

292

:

Brian: Yes, that's correct.

293

:

And there's a cheat sheet.

294

:

If anybody wants to get it, you can go

to just get the cheat sheet and it'll

295

:

cover, or sorry, get the cheat sheet.

296

:

com and it'll cover eyebrow height,

the three eyebrow shapes, and a

297

:

few other features, including lips.

298

:

But when we say the phrase, keep a stiff

upper lip, that means be stoic, right?

299

:

Hold your emotions in.

300

:

That's based on when people

have thinner upper lips.

301

:

You know, not to ask a lot of personal

questions until they feel comfortable.

302

:

So I've done a lot of

traveling around the world.

303

:

When you go to former communist

countries, you'll see a lot of thinner

304

:

upper lips or flatter upper lips.

305

:

Why?

306

:

They couldn't have a public opinion

about things that was risking death.

307

:

So if you watch body language, it's called

a lip concealment where you go like this.

308

:

When you're keeping

your mouth shut, right?

309

:

So as you do that over time, what happens

is there's 42 muscles in the face.

310

:

The mind creates movement,

movement creates muscle.

311

:

So if you're, let's say as a kid, you

were raised in a household that you were

312

:

told kids are to be seen and not heard.

313

:

Well, every time you start to talk, they

shut you down and you go, and that will

314

:

literally flatten out your lip over time.

315

:

It's also the reason why the number

one plastic surgery right now is lip

316

:

enhancement and nobody really knew why.

317

:

It's because this is our personal lip.

318

:

Our upper lip is our personal lip,

and we want to seem more approachable.

319

:

Now, here's a funny thing.

320

:

Women have been changing or altering

their lips for centuries because

321

:

what someone will do is they'll

actually draw on with lipstick, larger

322

:

upper lips than they actually have.

323

:

So if you ever have gone up to see,

especially like an older, like in,

324

:

let's say late seventies, sometimes

you'll see they'll draw their lipstick

325

:

larger than their lips actually are.

326

:

Julie: know that was gonna be my

question when you were talking about

327

:

eyebrows cuz especially women women

very rarely have naked eyebrows

328

:

like we we Put eyebrow pen on them.

329

:

We put gel on them our eyebrows

that you see on our face are usually

330

:

much smaller than But then what

we show because of makeup, but

331

:

then also with lip enhancements.

332

:

Like, so how, how are you reading

people who was, I guess, mostly females.

333

:

Um, because we have a

face on mostly every day.

334

:

Brian: Great.

335

:

I have an analogy for this because

I have a six year old one time we

336

:

went to a birthday party and they

had face, uh, face painters there.

337

:

And what happened is whatever her

face was painted as is what she

338

:

projected to the world and how

she acted at the exact same time.

339

:

So she went as a little lion

and so she was actually a tiger.

340

:

So she would walk around as a tiger go

raw and everybody treated her like a tiger

341

:

because they could see on her face What

she wanted to be treated like makeup is in

342

:

plastic surgery or no different So the if

you do a study on Especially younger girls

343

:

who feel out of control of their life

What they'll do is they'll shave off if

344

:

they have rounded or straight eyebrows and

they'll draw on angled eyebrows Because

345

:

angled eyebrows are, what's my angle?

346

:

Help me understand it.

347

:

But they're also seen as

authoritarian eyebrows as in, I

348

:

want to be involved in the process.

349

:

And so nobody knew why they were doing it.

350

:

And sometimes you see where they've

overdone the angle in their eye where it

351

:

looks ridiculous, but that's the reason

why that they draw in the angled eyebrows.

352

:

So when you are altering your face, you're

attempting to change how, what you present

353

:

to the world and how people respond to it.

354

:

So we know how we do that with clothing.

355

:

It's just there's ways to do it

with facial features as well.

356

:

Julie: Do you think there are

any ethical considerations,

357

:

surrounding the use of this tool

358

:

Brian: I used to

359

:

Julie: we're using this tool in diverse

cultures or multicultural settings?

360

:

Like, what are, what are the

ethics around it or ethical

361

:

Brian: so far I haven't found anything

that has really stood out to me.

362

:

And the reason for it is I'm not

saying every gender has this or

363

:

every race has this because it's

about what do your features for

364

:

your particular face say about you?

365

:

So, for example, Everybody can have

large lips or small lips, and with

366

:

having larger ears or larger eyes,

it's based on specifically your

367

:

features, and it's not just a feature.

368

:

It's a combination of features.

369

:

So it's kind of like cooking.

370

:

When people are learning this, they learn

eyebrows first, like eyebrow height.

371

:

Then they'll come to eyebrow

shape, and you work your way down

372

:

the face, kind of like reading a

book top to bottom, left to right.

373

:

I used to be really concerned about

teaching this to HR because I thought,

374

:

well, what if somebody doesn't get a job?

375

:

Based on what somebody can

learn about facial features.

376

:

But then you have to think

of it from the company side.

377

:

What's worse than a bad hire?

378

:

So I don't know that there's

necessarily anything that is really

379

:

there because it's not about judgment.

380

:

It's more about trying to understand

people because there are very few

381

:

facial features that somebody should

immediately go, Ooh, and step away from.

382

:

Now there's combinations of

features that I'll pay attention to.

383

:

And it's again, what we've

been taught over time.

384

:

So if I see somebody who has a very

downturn nose, and has a pointy

385

:

chin and has angled eyebrows.

386

:

I'm gonna pay more attention to

them, but it has nothing to do with

387

:

gender, race, anything of that nature.

388

:

Um, right handed, left handed, it's

all, what do their features say?

389

:

And because there's 42 muscles

in the face, our features

390

:

change constantly over time.

391

:

So in my presentations, I'll show

a picture of me at 18 versus 38,

392

:

and my ears used to stick out more.

393

:

My eyebrows were straight versus angled

now, and then my eyes used to angle

394

:

down and over time they angled back up.

395

:

So our facial features can change as well

based on what's going on in our, our mind.

396

:

So when I mentioned earlier, the mind

creates movement, movement creates muscle.

397

:

Well, when your parents said, stop

making that face or get stuck that

398

:

way, there's actually some truth to it.

399

:

Julie: When my husband says

to me, don't make that face.

400

:

I'm like, it's the only face I have.

401

:

Brian: Right.

402

:

Julie: Um, I've, I've listened to,

watched a couple of your videos and,

403

:

um, I think, I think they're great.

404

:

The videos where you're

speaking in front of crowds.

405

:

And I heard you say in one of

the videos that we, for better

406

:

communication, need to learn to speak.

407

:

other people's language instead

of pushing our own agenda.

408

:

I mean,

409

:

Brian: A

410

:

Julie: I mean, we're all trying

to get something out of, you

411

:

know, out of our efforts.

412

:

And for most people who listen

to this podcast, it's networking

413

:

and relationship building.

414

:

So what do you mean by speaking

other people's language?

415

:

I mean, I'm assuming there's the

literal, yes, when you go to another

416

:

country, try to speak their language,

but what are we talking about when

417

:

we're all speaking the same time?

418

:

Brian: very simple one is people learn

through three basic sub modalities.

419

:

That is auditory, visual

and kinesthetic learning.

420

:

So if someone has In proportion to their,

their size of their face, larger ears

421

:

than they tend to be auditory people.

422

:

So you'd say things like, Hey,

does this sound like a good idea?

423

:

Do you hear where I'm coming

from or what I hear you saying?

424

:

So those are with people with larger ears.

425

:

If people have larger eyes, then

they're more visual learners.

426

:

So you'd say things

like, well, picture this.

427

:

Do you see where I'm coming from now?

428

:

And I'm bad.

429

:

I will hang up a physical phone call

and say, okay, I'll see you later.

430

:

Why?

431

:

Because I'm extremely visual.

432

:

If I only used visual terms talking

to an auditory person, they're not

433

:

always going to hear what I'm saying.

434

:

So you learn to add it all in.

435

:

And then the third

component is kinesthetic.

436

:

They're hands on learners.

437

:

And the facial feature that

represents that is below the

438

:

nose and above the upper lip.

439

:

If it's a very wide area right here,

it's called the, uh, not the frenulum.

440

:

I can't think of the term right now,

but when that's why those tend to

441

:

be hands on physical people who like

to learn with hands on learning.

442

:

So you'd say things like, well, once we

get up and get moving and once we take

443

:

charge and here's the crazy part, if

you're going to go meet in with someone

444

:

who does podcasts or they put out

press releases or they've got a blog.

445

:

They will write in the

language that they prefer.

446

:

So one time I went to, there's a

company here in Dallas I did training

447

:

for, and I went and grabbed one

of the blogs of their CEO, it was

448

:

actually a press release, and it was,

we're gonna hit the ground running.

449

:

And once we get up, we're just

gonna tackle the competition.

450

:

So when I met with them, what did I do?

451

:

I used kinesthetic words.

452

:

Why?

453

:

I want to speak his language,

454

:

Julie: I can't stop looking at myself

trying to figure out what my face is

455

:

saying like it's I know the listeners

This is not a visual medium But we

456

:

you know Brian and I can see each

other and I'm feeling a little self

457

:

conscious right now because I feel

like what is he saying about my Eyes,

458

:

what is he saying about my lips?

459

:

Yeah

460

:

Brian: I call this the skill to make

you want to lean in and look away

461

:

because once, once you learn it,

that's why I purposely put a picture

462

:

of myself up like six slides into my

keynotes because I want people to see

463

:

my face and know it's not that bad.

464

:

But what was funny is the gentleman

that taught to me great guy, but

465

:

what he would teach it, you'd go

sit in a chair in the middle of

466

:

the room and he pointed your face.

467

:

Okay.

468

:

And you're like, okay, it's not awkward

enough to be in the center of the room,

469

:

but he's literally pointing your face.

470

:

But one of the things that he

taught me over time was when

471

:

you're talking about other people's

facial features, what do you do?

472

:

You point at yourself and you say, well,

I can tell by year this that way the

473

:

person can see what you're talking about.

474

:

Versus if I do this, the whole time I

point at you, all you see is my finger

475

:

and we know that pointing is bad, but yes.

476

:

So that's why the company's called

subtle skills, because if you

477

:

learn this, you never have to

tell anybody what you're doing.

478

:

And that's the funny thing is it's

hit or miss once I, I asked normally

479

:

if I'm at, let's say it's a two day

event, I asked to be a day one speaker.

480

:

So people can come up and

talk to me afterwards.

481

:

And the entire reason why is

because people are fascinated by it.

482

:

We all want to know more about

ourselves and what are the faces saying?

483

:

And so what I set up, like, for example,

if I have a 60 minute keynote, I'll leave

484

:

the last 15 minutes for volunteers if

there's a way for them to get up on stage.

485

:

But if not, I hang around the events.

486

:

So people can come up and going

back to earlier, the thinner upper

487

:

lip, if somebody said, Oh, analyze

their face, I won't do it now.

488

:

If they come up and say, would

you analyze my face all day long?

489

:

But I know automatically people are

guarded with that thinner upper lip.

490

:

And so if they have that and somebody

else volunteers them, I know they're

491

:

not going to be happy with it.

492

:

And I should write down a piece of paper.

493

:

They're going to disagree

with everything I say.

494

:

And because we were talking

about a mutual friend that I

495

:

want you to meet Janine Driver.

496

:

Janine is a rock star when she's on stage.

497

:

She shares all of her stories.

498

:

She even over shares sometimes.

499

:

And when she gets off stage, if

people ask her personal questions, she

500

:

goes, Why do you need to know that?

501

:

So it's once you get to know

people, you can just recognize

502

:

these features and know, do I

need to keep it strictly business?

503

:

Should I make it personal?

504

:

But you're right.

505

:

As soon as people know what, you

know, then they're a little more

506

:

like, Oh, how are you doing?

507

:

Let me just hide my face the entire time.

508

:

Julie: Okay, so we'll do let's do

a quick read read my face quickly

509

:

and I promise I won't get upset

510

:

Brian: So I'll tell you one

of the things that stands out.

511

:

That first is you have very full

upper eyelids and that's one of

512

:

the things that's on a cheat sheet.

513

:

So I was raised in the day and age of Dr.

514

:

Seuss.

515

:

So the more lid you see, the

more they think in terms of we.

516

:

So I know you like to do

things with other people.

517

:

You prefer that doing things alone.

518

:

So if I was going to do anything, I

would invite you to go, but I would

519

:

also, when talking to you, use inclusive

language like, well, once we do this

520

:

and once we get started, when we work

together, because that's how you think

521

:

is with fuller upper eyelids, your eyes

522

:

Julie: for makeup too

523

:

Brian: Yes.

524

:

Well, and but you choose to

highlight it with your makeup.

525

:

Right?

526

:

Um, your eyes angle up slightly.

527

:

So you were more the optimist

that you want to hear about

528

:

the positive side of things.

529

:

If I have to come deliver bad news

to start with the positive, then

530

:

work down to the negative instead

of starting at the negative.

531

:

Good, good, strong jaws.

532

:

Once you make up your mind, you can

easily latch in and hold your ground.

533

:

You're pretty much a movable.

534

:

So if I had to come and convince you

to change your mind, I better bring

535

:

facts, figures and data and a legitimate

reason because you don't waver easily.

536

:

Julie: Right.

537

:

Brian: then we talked about that.

538

:

Um, here's a funny one.

539

:

When our noses tilt up slightly, that we

can always see our nostrils right away.

540

:

That's like saying I've got

air to share with other people.

541

:

So people will come up and talk to you

because they're like, Oh, she's up for

542

:

listening to what I'm going to talk about.

543

:

And she's got air to share.

544

:

Well, air is a very vital thing, right?

545

:

So if we all said, take a deep

breath, people go through their nose.

546

:

So when your nose angles up slightly,

That tells other people that

547

:

you're willing to listen and share

your time and attention as well.

548

:

And then, uh, race.

549

:

Julie: i'm like anything else

550

:

Brian: Oh, yeah.

551

:

So when you talk, you've

got talk lines right here.

552

:

So, um, for the people listening, what

we're talking about is it's, it's to the.

553

:

If you're going from the inside the mouth

to towards the ears, she's got vertical

554

:

lines in her chins when she smiles.

555

:

So that is a talk line.

556

:

So I know that's the way you get to know

people is through deep conversation.

557

:

Um, and then raise your

eyebrows up, squint down.

558

:

Julie: screen

559

:

Brian: Yeah.

560

:

Okay.

561

:

So I can't see if you have, is

there a way to make this larger?

562

:

Okay.

563

:

Squint down again for me.

564

:

Okay, so you have to.

565

:

So that's called the force

focus line right here.

566

:

Some people calm their

elevens in their head.

567

:

Julie: I should get Botox.

568

:

Brian: Well,

569

:

Julie: shouldn't be able to see them.

570

:

Brian: we're talking about for

the people listening is when I had

571

:

her squint when she raised up her

eyebrows, she's got long lines that

572

:

are horizontal across her forehead.

573

:

That's someone who does

deep intense study.

574

:

So while you can give her the bullet

points, you better give her the

575

:

user manual because she likes it.

576

:

She dives in deep to understand things.

577

:

Then when she squinted in between

her eyebrows were two vertical lines.

578

:

Yeah.

579

:

That are fairly deep.

580

:

And what that means is

deep, intense study.

581

:

When she's in the middle of something,

then she completely can zone out

582

:

everyone else while you're working.

583

:

And then, um, what else did

I see when you did that?

584

:

Oh, so what the interesting

area is in between your eyebrows

585

:

is this area right here.

586

:

It's a little bit, it's

called a self will pad.

587

:

And what that means is you could

have a micromanaging boss and it

588

:

wouldn't matter because you're always

thinking, what else should I be doing?

589

:

What else should I be doing?

590

:

What else should I be doing all the time?

591

:

So,

592

:

Julie: boss is terrible.

593

:

It's me.

594

:

Brian: Yeah.

595

:

So yes, those are all

the things I can see.

596

:

And this is over a very,

very small picture.

597

:

But what I'll do for fun is I'll go grab

a few pictures of you off of Instagram

598

:

and other places, and I'll put arrows.

599

:

And this is what people

think all the time.

600

:

Oh, he's just gaslighting.

601

:

He's just saying things are there.

602

:

The whole reason I send you a

picture of it is because I'm going

603

:

to be able to repeat exactly what

we talked about at another time.

604

:

So unless your face has changed

dramatically since the last time I saw

605

:

you, I'll be able to do the same diagnosis

or decoding your facial features every

606

:

single time I see you, I'm going to

say the same thing because I have a

607

:

procedure top to bottom, left to right.

608

:

Now, the only thing that may

change is like I used to have

609

:

straight eyebrows over time.

610

:

I got angled eyebrows because once I

became a corporate trainer, I didn't

611

:

understand the material for me.

612

:

To be able to, uh, and digest it, to

be able to explain it to other people.

613

:

So angled eyebrows don't necessarily

mean a bad thing, but they can,

614

:

because it's an authoritarian thing.

615

:

The person wants to be in control.

616

:

Well, if you're a corporate

trainer, that's what you are.

617

:

Right.

618

:

You have to deliver the information

or now that I teach on how to

619

:

understand facial features, I

have to understand the material.

620

:

That's my angle to then

explain it to other people.

621

:

So I still want to help other people learn

the skill, but I have to learn it first.

622

:

Julie: It's almost like you're cheating.

623

:

Brian: It is to a degree.

624

:

The funny, the cool thing is,

is people's faces are a map.

625

:

That tells us how to talk to each other.

626

:

We just haven't been formally

trained crazy part because

627

:

you look this up earlier.

628

:

Phrenology was actually the

reason that this got kicked

629

:

out of the academic system.

630

:

So once this was taught, it was part

of the education system until Henry the

631

:

eighth said, I don't like the idea that

beggars and vagabonds can use this skill.

632

:

And so when they said phrenology,

which was bumps on your head

633

:

is what you're born with.

634

:

And as you mentioned,

it was very prejudice.

635

:

Yes.

636

:

Well, they threw it out and they said,

well, we'll get rid of physiogamy,

637

:

which is face reading at the exact

same time, but it was still kept

638

:

alive to teach to the three A's

attorneys, authors and artists.

639

:

Julie: Yeah.

640

:

Brian: So it is, it is like a cheat

code, but everyone's face is just

641

:

telling you, here's how to talk to me.

642

:

We just haven't been formally taught

643

:

Julie: It's interesting when you think

about the, the attorneys because any

644

:

sort of true crime documentary, which

I've watched, which everybody knows

645

:

I've watched, like when they talk about

jury selection, or if they do a deep

646

:

dive into how they chose the jury,

I think it's so interesting how they

647

:

choose juries, but I don't think I've

ever heard anybody say, Oh, we do it

648

:

based on these features of their face.

649

:

It's mostly like, what are they wearing?

650

:

What are they doing with their hands?

651

:

Like how, how is their face reacting to

certain, um, stimuli in the room, whether

652

:

they're words or whatever, but not just

the actual Physical structure of the face.

653

:

Brian: the physical, the resting facial

features, give you an idea of how do

654

:

they take in and process information.

655

:

Everything else that you just

mentioned is reactionary.

656

:

So micro expressions by Paul Ekman, I

think most people should learn that.

657

:

The reason I don't focus on it is I

feel like I'd be so busy waiting for

658

:

your face to react that I wouldn't

be giving you the time and attention

659

:

that I need to, um, body language.

660

:

I already mentioned, I think it's huge.

661

:

Everybody needs to do it.

662

:

Um, you can look at someone.

663

:

We're all, we have an idea of body

language or somebody who's closed off.

664

:

We know not to ask him a lot.

665

:

If people are open, they're

open for conversation.

666

:

So you're right.

667

:

Jury attorneys use a variety of things

in what they call trial science.

668

:

But yes, physiognomy is one of them

or face reading is a skill that's

669

:

taught to some attorneys as well.

670

:

Julie: Yeah.

671

:

Well, I told you in the intro that,

yes, I was skeptical, even though I had

672

:

watched, you know, we have talked before

and I had watched your things, but,

673

:

because I had not seen it in action.

674

:

Um, I don't think I'm

so skeptical anymore.

675

:

I think there's some real shit here.

676

:

Brian: Yeah, I actually one of my slides

in addition to the pictures of me between

677

:

ages is I said, are you skeptical?

678

:

So was I because I was, I thought if

I hadn't heard of it and I can find

679

:

very few books on it, it can't be real.

680

:

And so I encourage people look, get the

cheat sheet, go and test it for yourself.

681

:

But it changed my life.

682

:

I've been using it for 13.

683

:

5 years.

684

:

And is it 100%?

685

:

No.

686

:

Is it high nineties?

687

:

Yes.

688

:

And I'll have to send you

some clips of the last.

689

:

I did a two hour presentation last

30 to 45 minutes was just people

690

:

coming up because this was a

very small private mastermind and

691

:

people always come up stoic, right?

692

:

Oh, they're not gonna be able to read

me and they always walk away either

693

:

turning red or laughing because they're

like, God, how does he know this?

694

:

And I'm like, it's not

695

:

Julie: Right.

696

:

Yeah.

697

:

Um, okay, so the cheat sheet

is get the cheat sheet.com.

698

:

And then what about you?

699

:

Um, where should people connect with you?

700

:

Is it LinkedIn?

701

:

Is it your website?

702

:

You mentioned Instagram, like where's

the, or Twitter I think, or X or TikTok

703

:

Brian: Uh, I'm pretty much agnostic.

704

:

I need to get better.

705

:

I don't do Twitter.

706

:

I should add that in, but on everywhere.

707

:

No,

708

:

Julie: leave it I, I think you

should be like, dominant in one

709

:

or two places, so I'm dominant

in Instagram and LinkedIn, so.

710

:

Brian: I am also, um,

for it's subtle skills.

711

:

Nobody can spell it, but S

U B T L E and then skills.

712

:

S K I L L S.

713

:

And what you'll see underneath

it is because it's verified.

714

:

It has my real name too,

which is Brian G A L K E.

715

:

But I'm everywhere.

716

:

Subtle skills.

717

:

Julie: Well, that's awesome.

718

:

Okay.

719

:

And I'll put links to that

in the show notes anyways.

720

:

Um, but this actually has been

really, really interesting.

721

:

I'm, I'm really glad.

722

:

I'm forgetting how we were introduced.

723

:

Brian: Kevin Kepler.

724

:

Julie: Kevin, Kevin, the man

with the million dollar voice.

725

:

Yes.

726

:

Yes.

727

:

Kevin.

728

:

My, my listeners will remember that voice.

729

:

Um, so Kevin introduces, but I'm so glad.

730

:

I'm so glad we did this.

731

:

Thank you for coming.

732

:

Brian: Yes.

733

:

Thank you for having me.

734

:

So.

735

:

What do you think now?

736

:

Are you still skeptical?

737

:

I have to tell you.

738

:

After I talked with Brian, he

sent me a bunch of marked up

739

:

images of my face, pointing out.

740

:

How the different parts of my face,

the shapes, the angles, et cetera, laid

741

:

out a roadmap for him, understanding

how I like to be communicated with.

742

:

And also how I like to engage with people.

743

:

You know what he, wasn't far off.

744

:

I got to tell ya.

745

:

Does this seem like a lot of work?

746

:

Yes, constantly analyzing the

features of others to determine

747

:

how to interact with them.

748

:

Seems like it would be exhausting, but

maybe it's the kind of thing, you know,

749

:

the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

750

:

In any case.

751

:

I really enjoyed my

conversation with Brian.

752

:

I walked into it thinking it was

going to be more of a side show

753

:

talent, if you know what I mean?

754

:

Funny that he referenced PT Barnum

in the beginning of our conversation.

755

:

But I left thinking it might

actually be a really valuable tool.

756

:

If you take the time and effort

into learning more about it.

757

:

Now.

758

:

Onto the drink of the week,

which sticking with a circus

759

:

theme is the electric circus.

760

:

Here's what you're going to need.

761

:

Three fourths sounds of gin,

three fours ounce of Madorie

762

:

three fours ounce of lemon juice.

763

:

Three, four ounce of Jenna.

764

:

Puppy one dash barkeep, Chinese spitters.

765

:

I didn't know what that was.

766

:

So I used her.

767

:

Um, regular aromatic bitters.

768

:

Combine all ingredients and a mixing

glass and shake with ice shake,

769

:

shake, shake, shake, shake straight

into a coop or a cocktail glass

770

:

and garnish with a lemon twist.

771

:

All right friends.

772

:

That's it for this week.

773

:

I hope you enjoyed this conversation.

774

:

If you like what you heard

today, please leave review.

775

:

Please do that and

subscribe to the podcast.

776

:

Also, please remember to share the podcast

to help it reach a larger audience.

777

:

If you want more.

778

:

Julie Brown that's me.

779

:

You can find my book.

780

:

This shit works on Amazon

or Barnes and noble.

781

:

You can find me on

LinkedIn at Julie Brown BD.

782

:

Go ahead and reach out.

783

:

Just let me know where

you found me when you do.

784

:

I'm Julie Brown underscore BD

on the Instagram, or you can

785

:

pop on over to my website, Julie

Brown, bd.com until next week.

786

:

Cheers guys.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for This Shit Works

About the Podcast

This Shit Works
The people you meet can 100% Change Your Life! Networking is how you meet those people. Which sucks because you hate networking, you think you're bad at networking, and you certainly don’t have time to network. Bullshit! Welcome to This Shit Works, a weekly podcast hosted by entrepreneur, CEO, public speaker, author, business development strategist and networking coach Julie Brown. Just don’t call her Downtown Julie Brown - she doesn’t like that.

Each week Julie will bring to you her no nonsense tips, tricks and conversations around networking your way to more friends, more adventures and way more success!
Support This Show